Look! I stand at the door and knock. 
If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, 
and we will share a meal together as friends.
Revelations 3:20 NLT

The year was 2010. I had been regularly attending a church close to my apartment called Kenilworth Community Presbyterian Church. In fact, I was regularly attending three churches at the time because I was looking for a church community to join but that’s a story for another day. The church was running a group bible study called The Truth Project by Focus on the Family. The Truth Project is a foundational course that considers various aspects of life from a Biblical perspective. It’s a 13-week course and I must have attended it between March and May, thereabouts.  It was a week night and I had managed to persuade my friend and flat mate to join me for the series.

Now, if you’ve been following my blog, you’ll recall that from a young age, I have felt a longing, a questioning, and a seeking that I just couldn’t fully explain or express. If you haven’t, I recommend that you read the story Him Whom My Heart Loves for a bit more insight into that. At the time that I was attending these three churches, my longing, questioning, and searching had deepened. I was more than a little frustrated by this time because I just couldn’t satiate it. I still couldn’t quite find the meaning of life as it were. I think that was one of my main motivating factors for joining the bible study. I was very restless and unsettled and I felt like something had to give.

The first topic on the first night of Bible study was Truth. I remember I was feeling a bit jaded and though I was listening, I was rolling my eyes internally. The study started very predictably, at least in my mind, with the question, “Why was Jesus born?” I thought that I had heard it all before and that it was the same story told in a slightly different way and I guess I felt “over it”. Yet for whatever reason, I listened and remained engaged albeit half-heartedly. We had a short discussion around the question before listening to a prepared response. When the speaker said that Jesus was born to testify to the truth, that piqued my interest quite a bit.

It wasn’t the first time that I was hearing a lot of what was being presented; however, it took on a deeper meaning for me. I suddenly had insight and understanding that I previously did not have. Sure, I knew the Biblical stories and the meaning behind them. I believed the Bible and tried to apply it to my life as best as I could. That evening, it was as though the stories I was hearing and the meaning behind them became clearer. It was as though my mind was “unlocked” and puzzle pieces fell into place so that I could see a full picture. I didn’t know what was happening but I knew something was happening. I could feel a shift within me.

I found myself listening more attentively and soaking in what was being said. I just could not get enough of it. Later that night, as my friend and I went home, I remember crying inexplicably. I cried out of joy and a sense of relief. I remember saying to her, “I get it now! Something happened and I get it.” I’m not sure whether I fully realised that night that I had just been saved. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that something significant had happened. I felt different. I began to see the world differently almost immediately. I knew there was a shift within me. I think a part of me did know that I had just been saved but I did not want to label it.

See, I had been a Christian all my life. I had responded “yes” many times before when I was asked if I wanted to give my life to Jesus. I would say the words to confirm it yet it felt meaningless afterwards. I had a relationship with God yet I’d always felt like something was missing. A few years earlier, I had asked a Christian neighbour who I was friendly with how someone knows that they are saved. She had simply said, “You would know.” I found her response troubling and unsettling because I wasn’t sure whether I was saved or not. I was not confident that I was in good standing with God. And so that night, when I was confident that a shift had happened within me, I was reluctant to label it like I’d done before.

I wanted to see how the experience would change me and my life. Would it be yet another meaningless encounter or was this truly different? Over the days, weeks, and months that followed, it became more and more clear that I had had a real encounter with God that night. As I prayed and read my Bible, I continued to gain insight and understanding. The shift within me wasn’t a temporary or passing phase. It translated to outward change. I started talking, thinking, and acting differently. I became more confident in my good standing with God. One of the first people I couldn’t wait to tell was my mum. She is a woman of faith and one of my role models, both spiritually and in general.

I remember telling her over the phone and describing, in as much detail as I could, what had happened to me. She laughed with joy because one of her many prayers had been answered. As I listened to her laugh and celebrate and thank God I had been saved, I couldn’t help but imagine the level of celebration and joy in heaven as well. One more sheep had been found and brought into the fold. And that, my friends, is how I met Jesus – Him whom my heart loves. I knew of Him. I had a relationship with Him. I thought I knew Him and in a way I did. However, I had a personal encounter with Him that night that changed me and my life. It set me on a different trajectory for which I am eternally grateful.

Love,