Try These Helpful Tips

Discouragement. We have all been there. You put in all the effort you can master, try your best, but you do not get the result you hoped for. Perhaps you’ve knocked on what feels like 1,000 doors and none has been opened to you. Maybe you feel like your dream is deferred or out of your reach. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.” Perhaps you’ve shared something that you were excited and passionate about only to be dissuaded by those you thought would support your vision. Whatever the cause, you find yourself dealing with the sting of discouragement.

Whilst it is a natural response that we all have experienced at one point or another, the thing about discouragement is that it can sap your energy. Left unchecked, it can deplete your drive, hinder your progress, and steal your peace and joy. I’m reminded of a story about the Israelites in the Bible. For over 400 years, they were enslaved and suffered harsh treatment at the hands of their captors. God sent a messenger, Moses, to tell them that he was about to free them from captivity in a mighty way. However, they did not listen “because of their discouragement and harsh labour.” It’s difficult to have hope or to stay on course when you’re discouraged. So how do you deal with discouragement? Here are a few helpful tips.

1. Check your thoughts

Your outlook has a lot to do with your internal dialogue. If you’re feeling discouraged, check what you’ve been saying to yourself about yourself, about your situation, or about people around you. Your thoughts shape your reality. I had a setback recently and I immediately said to myself, “All doors seem to be closing in my face. Why is this happening to me?” Thankfully, I quickly realised that not only was I feeling sorry for myself, but I was also catastrophising. I came to a faulty conclusion based on one incident, turning it into a disaster which it wasn’t.  Not all doors were closing in my face. I’d just experienced a setback. Once I checked my thoughts against the facts, the discouragement I’d felt began to dissolve.

2. Shift focus

There’s a  saying that really resonates with me which says energy flows where attention goes. It means that what you focus on magnifies and will inevitably draw on your energy. The Bible encourages us to focus on whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and whatever is commendable.  If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about such things (Philippians 4:8). And so rather than focus on what you cannot control or influence, focus on what is within your control. Rather than focus on what you do not have, focus on how you can use and leverage what you do have. Rather than focus on the problem, focus on solutions and learning from the problem. Let your energy and effort flow towards that.

3. Shift Direction

Sometimes it helps to redirect. Reflect on where you are concerning your goals or expectations then calibrate. Take the adversities or challenges you’re facing into account then adjust. This means that you may need to change direction or change the vehicle that you’re using to reach your destination, not the destination itself. What you do not want to do is abandon your goal just because you’re discouraged. Do not give up or become discouraged when reality does not match your expectations. Shift direction or change tactics instead.

4. Seek Advice

We all have a blind spot or two – things that are apparent to others yet we cannot see them. If you feel like you keep coming up against a brick wall or you don’t know what to do anymore, ask for help. The key that you need to unlock your situation may be apparent or accessible to someone else so seek advice. Asking for help is not easy for a lot of people. It certainly isn’t easy for me but we all need help sometimes. Get advice from someone objective, trustworthy, who knows you well, and has your best interests at heart. As a Christian, I find the best person to ask for help is Jesus. There are countless times that I have asked him what I should do or why I feel discouraged or why something is happening and he never disappoints me. When I ask God for his opinion or help on a matter, he unlocks and clarifies things like no one can. He is my ever-present help.

5. Encourage Yourself

You’re not powerless against discouragement and negativity. Though it’s easier said than done, you can fight it and overcome. What are the things that uplift and encourage you when you need it the most? Many things encourage me including uplifting music, listening to my favourite motivational speaker, and talking to my very supportive friends and family. Above all these things though, I have learnt to encourage myself in the Lord. I find God provides immediate and effective relief when I need it if I let him. The operative phrase is “if I let him”. I don’t know about you but I don’t always find it easy to let go and let him take control of a situation. However, when I do, God gives me a great perspective, renewed strength, and encouragement. So encourage yourself in the Lord as David did in 1 Samuel 30.

Love,