Author: Flo

A Valentine’s Day Story: How I Joined Charis Bible College

| Flo

I was born again in 2010, but my journey really began years before that.

As far back as high school, I carried a deep sense that something was missing. I used to feel like I was searching for something and I was just not finding it. It wasn’t something I could grasp or easily explain, but it stayed with me—persistent and unrelenting. I felt like I was searching for something, yet I couldn’t quite grasp what it was.

Having grown up in a Christian home, I had seen my mum’s relationship with God. That inspired me to search for the same. I started going to church more and reading my Bible more. Deep down, I believed the missing link lay somewhere in those pages. And yet, I still couldn’t find it. One day, I came across a passage that perfectly captured what I was feeling:

All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. 
So I looked for him but did not find him...
- Song of Solomon 3:1-4 NIV

I was elated! This truly expressed the feeling I had been carrying. I was looking for something precious but it eluded me. I had been looking for the One my heart loves but, try as I might, I couldn’t find Him.

The Night Everything Changed

Years passed. More than a decade after high school, maybe 12 or 13 years, I was still searching. I remember I used to attend Bible studies, church services, read my Bible and pray. Yet, I always felt I was missing something. Then, one night in 2010, I attended a Bible study. I remember feeling frustrated and disengaged, thinking, “I’ve heard all this before.”

Nonetheless, I stayed and I paid attention. Suddenly, something clicked!! Words I had heard countless times before suddenly took on a deeper meaning. The message of Jesus—why He came into the world, what He did—suddenly made sense. It wasn’t just information anymore. It was revelation.

The best way I can describe it is like I had been wrestling with a math problem. I knew the answer but I didn’t know how to work it out, how to arrive at the answer. Then suddenly, understanding dawned. I got it! I finally comprehended! On the way home, I cried tears of joy. I kept saying to my friend, “I get it! Something has happened—I get it now!”

On Fire… Then Fading

After that encounter, life felt different. Brighter. Full of purpose. I was on fire for Jesus and it was awesome. A new world of possibilities opened up to me. The world seemed brighter. I saw many changes in me, big and small. I was changed and I knew it. It changed how I spoke to people, how I saw the world, how I felt and how I lived. I served, volunteered, attended courses, and immersed myself in church life. I was hungry for God and consumed everything I could.

However, after a few years, I began to notice a pattern emerge…

I would go through seasons of fire and passionate living for Christ. Then that would wane and I would experience lukewarmth and dryness where fire once was. Then, something would stir me again – a word from God, a time at home with my prayerful mum, a bad thing happening to me, or a great thing happening to me.

I would awaken as though from some kind of slumber. My faith would receive a new lease on life and I would be on fire again. Yet, the cycle would repeat. While I never lost my faith, I wasn’t fruitful or growing. I knew there had to be more.

A Sign I Couldn’t Ignore

Around 2024, about 14 years since I got born again, I found myself in the same cycle as before. I was like the church in Laodicea. I was painfully aware of my state, perhaps not the full extent, but I knew something had to give. I was miserable, and my life was beginning to reflect the years of internal struggle. One day, I was on my way to do something that I knew I shouldn’t be doing. It was not bringing me closer to God but creating distance.

I was riding in a car and we passed a familiar corner near my home. I had seen it countless times before. But this time was different. A Charis Bible College sign jumped out at me. I was surprised. “Has that always been there? How have I never noticed it?” I quickly took out my phone to take a picture. I remember saying a quick prayer that the traffic light would stay red long enough for me to do so. It did and I happily took the picture.

However, I went on with my day and soon forgot all about it. 

A Series of “Coincidences”

Not long after that, a friend asked me if I knew of a good Bible college. She was considering joining a Bible college to improve her faith and knowledge. So, I told her that I had recently seen one near my house. That something about it stood out to me. I also told her that I knew nothing about the college. So, I couldn’t recommend it one way or the other but it was worth looking into.

I sent her the picture I had and promised to also look into it. Then, I forgot about it again. This happened around mid-October 2024. The festive season came round and I visited my mum in Zimbabwe. We enjoyed watching faith programs together. One day, Andrew Wommack, one of the preachers we both enjoyed gave a teaching. At the end of the program, an advert came on. For Charis Bible College! That got my attention.

I had no idea that Andrew Wommack was the founder of the same college I had seen on that sign months earlier. I had yet another moment of thinking, “How come I had never seen this before?” I enjoyed watching Andrew’s sound teachings now and then but I had no idea up until that moment.

I shared with my mum how I had seen the Bible college in Johannesburg and how it had caught my interest. She encouraged me to reach out to them. This time, I didn’t miss the opportunity. I sent an email to Charis South Africa.

When God Confirms a Step

To our surprise, the very next day, Charis Bible College Zimbabwe reached out to my mum. I was in the garden and she came to me and asked, “Did you give that college my contact details?” “No. Why do you ask?” I responded. It turns out that they’d just invited her to an open day in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. We still don’t know how she got on their mailing list. Perhaps it’s because she’s a pastor who operates in the city. I figured it could only be God’s leading.

We registered and attended the open day on 24 January 2025. Even though we only made it to the evening session, it was powerful. The main speaker, Bongani Msibi, opened with a simple but profound statement:

“God brought you here tonight for a reason.”

I knew it was true, and when I later shared this with mummy, she said the same thing. That night, I decided I would enrol with Charis Bible College. And in March 2025, I did.

Not Perfect, But Purposeful

It has not been smooth sailing, but it has been full of God. After enrolling, I was on excited and on fire. Yet, due to both personal struggles and circumstances, it took nine months before I actually began my first lesson. I slipped back into familiar cycles.

As the year 2025 was drawing to a close, I asked God what I should focus on next. His response was gentle but clear—just one word: “Charis“. There was no condemnation in His voice. Just the love, patience, and guidance of a good and perfect Father.

My Father revealed to me that I rely on my feelings a lot, something He is now transforming. Not long after that, Andrew Wommack taught on the exact same thing. Through the teachings at Charis, I’ve begun to understand that my roots were not as deep as they needed to be. And so, I struggled in my walk with Christ. I wanted to operate in Jesus’ rest, but I was going about it the wrong way.

God is healing some deep-seated issues, such as feelings of unworthiness, people-pleasing and striving. He is changing how I see myself and others, not through effort, but through His work in me. I am rediscovering just how Faithful and True my Dad is.

See, the desire to attend a Bible college was planted in me when I first got saved. I wanted to grow in the Word and be effective in whatever God called me to do. Though I kept this desire in the back of my mind, Jesus never did. 

He reminded me. 
He positioned me. 
He called me.

And I have seen Him do some amazing things in the 1.5 months  I have been doing classes online.

I cannot wait to see and experience all He has for me. I am so excited for all that lies ahead!

Love,

The Story of a Man on a Hill

| Flo

A Picture from My Dad, the Greatest Artist of All Time

I was walking home, enjoying some much-needed quality time with my heavenly Dad. We’d walked to the shops together because I needed a few things, and I decided to turn the errand into intentional connection time. Now, I was on my way back. 

On the way there, we talked about nothing in particular, and yet, we talked about everything. About half-way, I passed a couple of ladies selling metal wares by the road side, a familiar and permanent fixture on that stretch. God prompted me to pray for them – their protection, their business, their salvation.

On the journey back, I noticed their kids had joined them. God prompted me to pray again, including their children. That simple act of obedience would later turn into a ministry moment – but that’s a story for another time.

As I was nearing home, I saw a striking image. It was one of those moments you wish you had a top-of-the-range camera on hand and the skill to match. But I had intentionally left my phone at home and couldn’t capture the moment. So instead, I took a mental picture. Sometimes this is better because you can really immerse yourself in the moment when you’re not looking at it through a lens (I’m certain there’s a deeper life lesson in that as well).

Here’s what I saw: 

It was twilight, with the sun dipping just below the horizon. The road I was walking on ascended to the crest of a small hill before disappearing beyond view. At the top of the hill, a young man of athletic build appeared on the right side of the road, and began descending. Behind him was a breathtaking sunset with layers of red, orange and amber hues blending into one another, rising to meet a slowly darkening sky. 

As he walked down, he playfully tossed something in the air and lifted his right arm to catch it. It looked like a victory pose, a fist raised in joyful triumph. Framing him, on either side was nature – trees, flowers, shrubs, grass –  juxtaposed against the concrete urban setting. Rising up, tall and proud, on his left, was a tall metal tower. All of it was silhouetted by the fading light. 

The whole view looked like art work. Like a staged photo. Like a gift.

I spontaneously started thanking my Dad. It was so beautiful, so intentional. It felt like it was painted just for me, for my pleasure. I couldn’t see anyone else in sight, just me and this man on a hill. Just as I was delighting in the sight, a car appeared at the top of the hill. Its bright headlights penetrated the deepening dusk, accentuating the scene, adding another layer of contrast and depth to the beautiful synergy of man, man-made structures and nature.

My heart was full as I continued to appreciate what I had seen. I prayed, “You did that, Dad! I see it. Thank you so much. It is blessing me.” I named my picture “Man On A Hill”. That was not the end of it. When God blesses, He blesses abundantly, a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over (Luke 6:38). 

As I was nearing home, I saw another view. The same sunset but from a new angle. The same amber, orange and red hues were rising to an oddly bright sky this time, almost as though daylight was not quite ready to depart just yet. I remember thinking, “It’s as if the sun is saying even in darkness, when you cannot see me, I’ll always be bright, bringing light, just like the Son.” 

I thanked God for that image and that amazing message as well. To me, He had painted two beautiful pictures simple for my enjoyment. Just because… What a delight they were!

Love,

Dare to Rise Above and Walk by Faith

| Flo

It was the festive season not so long ago. Christmas was upon us. I was chatting to my sister and I said to her, “Christmas is just not the same. I haven’t felt festive for the last couple of years, and this year is no different.” I wasn’t complaining or whining; I was just making an observation. Then she asked, “Has this been since Daddy passed away?” I realised it had. I hadn’t made the connection. Also, six months before this conversation, we had buried my Bestie, my Mbuya, my maternal grandmother. I was still processing that grief.

Sometimes things happen that break our hearts. We don’t feel like celebrating like we used to. We see the world in muted colours, not the vibrant ones we once saw. Perhaps we don’t laugh as easily, and we feel lacklustre. We’re just tired. At times, we get knocked down enough times that we may start to ask ourselves, “What’s the point?” We may even start getting tempted to stay down. To just accept that that’s life. We shouldn’t, though. We must choose to hold on to hope and faith and joy and peace, and all that is good. We must choose to hold on to Christ Jesus.

The festive season, for example, is more than just a holiday, a time for festivities and family and fun. Those are all great things, of course. But more than that, it’s also a commemoration of the birth, life, death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the redemption He secured for us. Christmastime is an opportunity to celebrate the ultimate new beginning we have in Him – the dawn of a new era.

A kingdom was birthed and made available to all for the taking. In this kingdom, the old are made new, the broken restored, the heartbroken comforted, the poor made rich, the lonely placed in families, and the homeless given a home. The list goes on and on. It’s for us to discover the things on this endless list and live by them.

As citizens of this kingdom, you and I have fellowship with our King, and that’s the greatest gift of all. So, then, as much as we may feel a little tired and a little dampened at times, we do not allow that to steal our joy. So, I personally found ways to celebrate the real reason behind the season this past Christmas despite how I was feeling. I remembered the Lord’s goodness and expected to see more of it. I expected a new lease on life from The Author of Life. And boy, did it happen! That’s a story for another day.

Today, I want to encourage you that if you’re facing heartbreak, if things are difficult and you’re barely holding on, if you feel like you’ve lost, if ever you start to feel like, “What’s the point?”, remind yourself that Jesus is! He’s the answer to all things. That’s Who has carried me again and again. He is more than sufficient in all things.

“Listen to Me, [insert your name], you whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

– Isaiah 46:3 – 4 NIV

So, enjoy fellowship with The King. And out of that close connection with Him, may all the good things He has for you flow freely and fully. 

Love,

Days Are Coming!

| Flo

Growing up, we had a house keeper with whom I shared a surprisingly close bond. I was a teenager then, and despite the difference in our circumstances, we had so much in common.  had many things in common. She was more like a friend than an employee. She was funny, kind, and genuinely enjoyed my company. I, too, loved spending time with her. We had long conversations, shared laughs, and occasionally went on little outings together.

At some point, she started cryptically saying, “Days are coming.” When I’d ask what she meant, she would just smile. There was a palpable level of excitement and anticipation when she said it, a knowing look on her face. One day, she resigned and left. A guy had swept her off her feet. I believe they got married and relocated. Although I missed her and felt a little upset that she left without a proper goodbye, I couldn’t begrudge her her happiness.

The weird saying finally made sense, days are coming. She was on a countdown to a life-changing event, and she just couldn’t wait. I’m sure it marked the beginning of an exciting and new life.

That phrase came back to me today as I was reading my Bible.

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. – Ephesians 5:1 – 2 NIV

As I reflected on this verse, something struck me again: everything God calls me to do is something He has already done. He leads by example. Not only that, He gives me the grace to do it too. As Christians, we are imitators of Christ. When God calls us to love, forgive, give, and pray, He is not asking us to do anything foreign to His own nature.

God loves to bless. In Philippians 4:19 (NLT), it says, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” And Romans 8:32 (NLT) tells us, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” 

Second, Christ is generous. We’re told to give, and the gift will be return to us – a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into our laps (Luke 6:38). God is also slow to anger and quick to forgive (Psalm 145:8 NIV) and he calls us to completely forgive those who wrong us (Matthew 18:21-22).

Even prayer—something He urges us to practice—is something He models. Jesus is an intercessor himself. He often withdrew to pray while He was on earth (Luke 5:16; Luke 22:32; John 17:9) , and even now He intercedes for us before the Father (Romans 8:34). Finally, perhaps the most profound example is love. God is love. He loved us all to the point of death, withholding nothing good from us. He calls us to follow His example and love others unconditionally.

I don’t know about you, but I find that can be incredibly difficult. People disappoint us. They hurt us. They behave in ways that feel impossible to love. Generosity can feel risky in a world that tells us to look out for ourselves. Forgiveness can feel unfair when there’s no apology, no change, and no guarantee it won’t happen again.

Sometimes, it’s tempting to give up and think, “This is too hard.” At times I’m painfully aware of how unlike Christ I can be. Then I remember that I am exactly like Christ:

Because as He is, so are we in this world. – 1 John 4:17

I remember God’s grace. Grace is God’s help. It is His power working in me, enabling me to do what I cannot do on my own. As Philippians 4:13 reminds us, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And when I fall short—and I do—grace meets me there too. Christ offers forgiveness, restoration, and another chance to begin again.

This is one of the things I love most about God’s character. He doesn’t simply give commands from a distance. He leads by example and walks with us every step of the way, offering strength, mercy, and guidance. He is righteous and perfect, yet gentle and compassionate. And He calls me to become more like Him. That thought fills me with the same sense of anticipation my old friend once carried. I’m not perfect yet. But days are coming.

Days when I will love more fully. Days when Christ’s character will shine more clearly in my life. Each day I grow to be more like Him. And one day, I will be completely transformed—perfect, radiant, and whole in His presence.

Days are coming!!

Love,

Faith vs Fear: Lessons from the 12 Spies in Numbers 13

| Flo

The scouting party sent out by the Israelites in this passage consisted of leaders (Numbers 13:3). One would expect such men to display wisdom, restraint, and sound judgment. As representatives of a people specially called and chosen by God, they should have been the best among them.

For forty days they explored the vast land and returned with both a report and samples of its produce (Numbers 13:21–22, 25). Their report offers profound lessons about faith and fear. Mainly, our faith determines whether we walk into God’s promises or retreat from them.

Firstly, they all saw the same land, the same cities, and the same people. Yet they returned with two very different perspectives: ten spies responded with fear, two responded with faith.

In verse 27 the fearful scouts reported:

“We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit.”

This was entirely consistent with what God had already said in Exodus 3:8:

“So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey.”

The Lord had repeated this promise many times—after the first Passover (Exodus 13:5), even after Israel’s sin with the golden calf (Exodus 33:3), and again while giving them instructions for holy living (Leviticus 20:24), among other occasions.

Fear began to inflate the problem and distort reality. They declared that the inhabitants were too strong and that Israel could not attack them (Numbers 13:31). They even claimed that “the land devours those living in it.” In their eyes, they seemed like grasshoppers compared to the people of the land—and they assumed the inhabitants saw them the same way.

That is what fear does. It distorts our perspective and makes things seem insurmountable. The Israelites believed the negative report and lost heart. In their fear, they began to view slavery in Egypt—a life of oppression—as preferable to the unknown future ahead of them.

Instead of the promised blessings, they saw their wives and children being taken as plunder and their lives lost by the sword (Numbers 14:2-3). Tragically, fear caused them to miss out on the blessing God had given them. They refused to lay claim to it and take possession.

Faith births courage and action. Fear causes us to shrink back and stagnate. 

Faith, on the other hand, led Caleb and Joshua to glorify God, rightly elevating Him above the very real challenges ahead of them. They chose to believe God at His word despite what they saw. They were certain they could take possession of the land.

Where others saw giants that could squash them like “grasshoppers”, they saw prey, “bread”, because they were looking beyond the natural (Numbers 13:31-33; 14:7-9). When God gives a command or a promise, we must resolve never to allow fear to steal it from us.

The Danger of Seeking Confirmation for Our Fears

Looking at the same account in Deuteronomy 1:19-40 reveals an interesting detail. It was the leaders who suggested sending out spies to scout the promised land (Deuteronomy 1:22). While this was a prudent idea, it’s also possible something else was at play. Perhaps the leaders asked for a search party because they were afraid. They’d just crossed a “great and terrible wilderness” and now were approaching unfamiliar territory. It’s human to seek reassurance in the face of uncertainty and discomfort. 

Yet it wasn’t unknown, not really. God had already promised, “I’m giving you a land filled with milk and honey.” That’s the most important information they needed to know going in. If they’d needed further details, God surely would have revealed them. This moment reminds one of Adam and Eve who sought knowledge of good and evil after God had expressly forbidden it. Their desire for knowledge went beyond trust in God.

I’m not saying it is wrong to be informed and prepared. No, that is prudent. However, we sometimes seek information not to prepare ourselves but to confirm fears we are already entertaining. Without discernment or staying focused on Christ, the same information meant to prepare us could feed our fears and weaken our faith instead. We need to ask God to give us His perspective to see people and things as He does when we seek information, not to scout independently of Him. 

When we don’t keep our eyes on Christ and the truth that He is always with us, the bad soon outweighs the good, and the risks outweigh the benefits in our minds. For example, the scouts brought back a single cluster of grapes, some pomegranates and some figs. However, the weight of their words of caution far outweighed these samples. They spoke far more about the challenges than about the blessings.

This is a good reminder to be careful about how we search for information, how we process it, and how we share it with others.

The Parallel Paths of Faith and Fear

Faith and fear operate in remarkably similar ways. In many respects, they are opposite sides of the same coin. Both come by:

  • Hearing a word

Faith begins with hearing God’s Word: 

“So, then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” – Romans 10:17. 

Fear often enters our hearts by listening to words that contradict God’s Word, be it the news, a friend’s opinion, a business report, family beliefs, a doctor’s prognosis, and so on.

  • Believing it 

For anything to take root in our lives, we must agree with it on some level – even a subconscious one. For example, insults only gain power over us when we internalize them.

Faith grows when we believe God’s Word. Fear grows when we accept negative reports as ultimate truth.

In Shona, we say “kuzvigamuchira,” which means to receive it. You have to be convinced of something before it has any effect on you otherwise it is just a moot point, background noise, something that has nothing to do with you.

  • Meditating on it.

Once belief sets in, then comes ruminating. This minds replays the message and it stays with us. We turn it over repeatedly, examining every angle. This works with Good News i.e. God’s Word and with bad news. Unfortunately, many of us find it easier to dwell on negative messages. It takes intentional effort to redirect our thoughts toward God’s Word and His promises.

  • Confessing it

When something fills our hearts, we naturally speak about it. Exciting news spills out in conversation. The same is true for troubling news. We repeat it, discuss it, analyse it, and sometimes amplify it. Words have power, especially when we speak them repeatedly. Scripture teaches that salvation itself involves believing in the heart and confessing with the mouth (Romans 10:9). How we speak matters. That’s not to say we must deny reality or lie; however, how we speak about things can either magnify fear or magnify God. 

  • Living according to it 

What we believe eventually shapes our behaviour.

If I hear a traffic report about an accident on a certain road, I will avoid that route. I have believed the report, and the fear of being stuck in traffic affects my actions.

Faith works similarly. If I truly believe God’s words—such as His declaration that He loves me and I’m precious and honoured in His sight (Isaiah 43:4)—that belief will influence how I see myself, how I speak, and how I live.

  • Experiencing the harvest

Both faith and fear produce a harvest in our lives. What begins as a word grows through belief, meditation, confession, and action. Over time, it shapes our inner life before flowing outwards and shaping our circumstances.

Final Thought

The Israelites stood at the edge of promise, but fear convinced them to turn back. We face similar moments in our own lives. When God gives a promise or calls us forward, we must decide which voice will guide us: fear or faith. The voice we listen to, believe, and repeat will determine the path we walk and the future we experience. Faith produces life and courage. Fear produces limitation and retreat.

Love,

With Humility Comes Wisdom

| Flo

We serve a humble and tender-hearted God.

With greatness and achievement, often comes stature and popularity or renown. And when one is excellent and surpasses all others by a great margin as to be incomparable, a measure of pride is only natural. In fact, a level of arrogance is often expected in such a person. That is why it never ceases to amaze me that the Lord Jesus is humble and tender in heart.

He says to us, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” In Philippians 2:6- 8, we hear of how Jesus, though being God, did not take advantage of His divinity, choosing instead to take on the nature of a man, a servant at that! He submitted Himself to death on a cross, something reserved for criminals. That is just how humble Jesus is.

From His birth in a manger for a bed to His life on this Earth to His death on the cross, He chose not to exalt Himself even though if anyone had a right to, it would have been Him. After His death, we hear that the Father “exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father”. Yet, even now, pride is not something that can be associated with Him.

I am in reverence and awe of such a heart, such character. What an example?! How is it possible that someone so great, so perfect and possessing the highest level of authority could be humble? Of course, it doesn’t make sense when considered from a human perspective but the kingdom of heaven is unlike any other. In the kingdom of heaven, the one who is least is the greatest. Humility is a virtue to be embraced. A humble person pleases God. He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).

I’m sure you’ve heard the adage ‘pride goes before a fall’ in one form or the other. The Bible tells us that “when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2). It’s not always easy to choose humility. It is contrary to how the world works, in general, and that is why it is so surprising to encounter humility especially in a person who has every reason not to be humble. Imagine then, what a powerful testimony it would be that we follow the way of Jesus when we show true humility. 

So, I pose the question to you and me –  what are some ways we could grow in humility today?

Love,

Learning to Keep the Faith in Everyday Life: A Testimony

| Flo

I work from home exclusively and have been doing so for some time. I absolutely love it. It has many advantages like flexibility and zero commuting, but it also has some challenges. One of the main issues I face is occasional technical difficulties. Last week, I found myself in a position where I could not get online using my main internet service provider (ISP) just before my work day started. To compound the issue, my backup option was also out of commission. It was stressful because I knew a number of people were waiting and relying on me to get my work done effectively and on time.

Fortunately, I managed to resolve the issue with my main ISP fairly quickly thanks to my support system (a big shoutout to you, you know who you are). However, I was not so fortunate with my backup. I was very uncomfortable with this scenario because I knew that if anything else happened, I’d have no redundancy to fall back on. “Pray about it,” said that still small voice in my head that I have become so familiar with over the years. Automatically, I started to pray then I paused. I couldn’t continue praying for some reason. I searched my heart and mind, then it came to me. I was struggling with trusting God. And so, I prayed about what I was thinking and feeling instead.

My prayer went something like this: Father God, I want to ask for Your help with my work day today. I am concerned about my internet connectivity and I really want my day to go well. I know that You always answer prayer and that You’re here for me. However, your version of what an answered prayer looks like and mine can sometimes be so different. And so, I am struggling to trust you with my need today because when you say it shall be well, for example, what you mean can be very different from what I am hoping for and expecting. I surrender what I am thinking and feeling to You and ask You to help me with my need as well as trusting You again.

It was a fairly simple but very honest prayer. I immediately felt God respond as I felt a sense of calm, peace and reassurance washed over me. I still wasn’t 100% sure my workday would go the way I hoped, but I was more than confident that God had heard me. He knew my heart and He knew just what I needed. What’s more, God is always good and kind. He considers me and acts out of regard for my well-being. I was reminded that I can always trust in that, in Him. He is dependable even when He doesn’t respond the way I want Him to. That’s not all though. When God requires me to trust me, He also gives me the ability and the strength to do so. When I struggle with my faith, I can ask for help and confidently expect that He won’t turn me away or find fault (James 1:5) Instead, He responds with grace and wisdom.

In case you’re wondering, my workday went very well that day. It ended with me feeling loved, feeling seen, feeling heard, feeling protected and feeling humbled. I have carried that incident with me all week. It has encouraged me and reminded me to trust God like a child trusts her Father who loves her and only wants good things for her. In Jeremiah 29:11, the EasyEnglish version, God says, “I, the Lord, tell you this: I have decided what I will do for you. I have plans to help you to do well. I do not want to hurt you. I want to give you hope for a good life in the future.” The NIV puts it this way:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

If this has encouraged you, don’t keep it to yourself. Please share it and help to encourage someone else today.

Have a good one!

Love,

A Reminder of What Walking in Faith is Like

| Flo

A short story

A small incident happened today, nothing of consequence but it served as a good lesson. I went to a meeting at church this evening. It was a great time of prayer and worship, just what I needed. I walked away knowing I had encountered the Lord and felt very encouraged.

As I left the meeting, it was getting a bit dark, and I didn’t particularly feel like walking to the lift I would need to take home. I was also hoping not to use the money I had on me so I prayed about it. I asked God for a nice lift home, one that I wouldn’t have to pay for. Immediately, the voice of doubt spoke up. “How would that work though?” it said. I pushed it aside and prayed again as I headed to the lifts, briefly perusing the cars outside for my mum’s car whom I had asked to join me at the prayer meeting. Nothing.

I shrugged it off and headed for my lift, determined to get home and have an early dinner. Unfortunately, it took me about 30 minutes to get a ride and make it home – much longer than I had anticipated. When I got home, my mum came to open the front door which surprised me. She doesn’t usually do that. “What happened?” she asked. Now I was confused until she explained. It turns out she intended to come and pick me up but she got home late from her own meeting and so asked my brother to pick me up.

It warmed my heart that she did that. She didn’t have to but that’s her, always looking out for those she loves. Sadly, my brother and I missed each other. He was still out looking for me. I was disappointed. God had answered my prayer but I had missed it! Perhaps that voice of doubt had stopped me from looking around more carefully for my mum’s car. Had God spoken and I had not heard it because I was so determined to get home using my own plan? I remember feeling prompted to look at my phone but I didn’t want to take it out as I walked in the street so I shrugged it off.

Well, lesson well (re)learnt. This was a great reminder for me that when you ask God for something, take the time to wait for His response. Watch, wait, listen and more importantly, be expectant. Don’t rush ahead and try to do it on your own, using your own wisdom. It would be like calling a friend, saying your piece then dropping the call before your friend has an opportunity to respond. Wouldn’t that be silly 😀

Also, it’s not my job to determine if and how God will accomplish something. My finite mind cannot wrap itself around the infinite possibilities the Lord’s mind can see and call into being. He is the God of the impossible. I am reminded of Abraham’s story (Genesis 12 – 18). God promised Him some extraordinary things that would seem impossible to the human mind. Yet Abraham believed those promises, and not only was it credited to him as righteousness, but it all came to pass! Therefore, all I need to do is believe and trust in God’s faithfulness, truthfulness and ability to do what He says.

Love,

Five Biblical Ways to Deal with Anxiety

| Flo

Five tips from my personal experience

It came to my attention recently that there may be something going on with my credit record, potentially an incorrect entry or something. While I do not intend to get any credit, I do want a clean record. So, I am trying to rectify the issue, but to do that, I need more information first and that has been proving to be a challenge. Something as simple as getting my record has been like pulling teeth. I have tried a few times and hit a different snag each time.

This morning, after attempting once again to get the information I need and getting nowhere, I started to feel very frustrated. I thought, “Why is this happening!” Then a sense of dread started creeping in and before I knew it, I was feeling sick to my stomach. It wasn’t because of anything tangible, just a strong feeling of uncertainty and worry. I felt a sense of fear and my stomach was churning. I immediately recognised that feeling. I have suffered from anxiety in the past and I can tell when I am starting to get anxious. My mind goes into overdrive and left unchecked, can begin to create all kinds of not-so-good scenarios.

Now, we can agree that that’s not good. The Bible tells us that Jesus came to give us life and life in abundance (John 10:10). It is God’s heart that we should have peace and that “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). God has given us His Spirit (John 14:16) who is an advocate, a helper and a faithful companion in all things and at all times. Through His help, we can embody these qualities which are the fruits of the Spirit in our daily lives:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). 

When I started to feel anxious and I couldn’t shake it off, I began to reflect on some Biblical truths and found ways, in the moment, to apply them. God has given me victory over depression and anxiety, and has caused me to walk in freedom from anxiety. That’s a story for another day. For today, here are five things that helped me immediately:

1. Practice Gratitude

I was having a cup of tea as I was sending some emails about my issue when I became aware of just how good a cup of tea I had in my hand. “Thank you, Lord, for this delicious tea. It is amazing. Your provision is not lost on me.” It was a simple and effortless expression but I immediately felt so much better. It shifted my focus to God, His goodness, His provision and His presence. I couldn’t help but smile. I started to thank God for other things, delighting in finding reasons to do so. In my moment of frustration, as I was struggling to find words to pray about what was bothering me, I focused on God’s heart for me and His character. It made me more acutely aware that Jesus is with me all the time. He has me and whatever I am facing in the palm of his hands.

2. Worship and Praise

Worshiping God can be like a soothing balm to the soul. We were made to have companionship with God and to glorify Him. Praise and worship ushers in God’s presence and we were designed to enjoy being in God’s presence. When I sing unto God, I feel an unmatched sense of coming home – arriving at the place where I belong, where I find rest, where I am safe and my beloved Love is. God is our friend and our Father, and worshipping Him can not only calm us and draw us closer to Him, it shifts our perspective, what’s happening internally. It also has the power to shift what’s happening externally. God delights when we call out to Him and He responds (Psalm 18:6). It is what we’re meant to do, not remain silent or try to do it without God’s help. (Psalm 14:4, 1 Samuel 12:23, Luke 18:1).

3. Surrender all to God

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” – Psalm 55:22 NIV. God wants us to bring everything to Him, our joys and sorrows, our victories and our failures, our hopes and our dreams, our plans and lack thereof. He wants us to talk to him, to share what’s on my minds, to give to him what bothers us and then be convinced that once we do, He makes a provision and we do not need to worry anymore. This is seldom an easy thing, but I always say, “Just because it is difficult, it does not mean it cannot be done.” Moreover, God is kind enough to give us the strength to do the things we cannot do.

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."
2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT

4. Focus on What’s in Your Control

Quite often, when I feel anxious, it is because I feel a loss of control. Perhaps I want or expect things to turn out a certain way; I’ve made plans and preparations; I’ve put in the effort; I’ve done all that I can and beyond then… A big fat nothing. At times in life, it can feel like all your best efforts amount to naught and it can be unsatisfying or heart-breaking. I have learnt and am still learning to let go. It is helpful to have a sense of awareness of what God is calling me to carry, i.e., what I have the ability and grace [from God] to do. Anything more than that can steal my joy and peace. In the case of my credit record, I called, I sent emails, and I did all I could humanly do. I prayed as I did it and chose to trust God that He’d make a way. The scenarios running through my head were not real or helpful so I rejected them and waited to see what would happen, what God would do. What a turnaround that was for me! The rest of the day went better than I could have hoped.

5. Ask for Support

Last, but not least, we’re also designed to walk in fellowship, in community, in relationship with others. I believe in my heart that God saved and healed me from depression and anxiety, but I have also witnessed how the enemy will attempt to attach what I’ve been freed from back onto me. It was a part of my way of life for so long, so much so that it was like a part of my identity. Even as I write this, my heart goes out to the one reading or hearing this who is still struggling with depression and anxiety. My prayers are with you; I pray that Godspeed healing and freedom in whatever form He wills for you. 

With that in mind, I asked a couple of close and trusted friends and family to pray with me. This was especially helpful because, at first, for some reason, I was struggling to pray. Yet prayer is important. Prayer draws me closer to God and unlocks His blessings. It is how I stand firm, hold onto my peace and step into what God has already granted me (Exodus 14:13 -14). Only after thanking God for many unrelated things, worshipping Him and trusting that those who love me including Jesus Himself were interceding on my behalf was I able to see past myself and prayer could flow from my heart. Beloved, hold on to God and to your faith. When you struggle with that, reach out to your community, reach out to Jesus and ask for help. 

Love,