I sometimes struggle with forgiveness, more than I care to admit actually. I recently found myself in a space where I needed to forgive myself and it was a real struggle for me. Though I could sense God had already forgiven me, I had all kinds of thoughts about it. I knew to do better and so I thought I should have done better. I also kept getting stuck on how I was to turn it around, make things right. How was I to turn it around 🤔?
Well, because of Jesus, this is something that I didn’t have to worry about or try to figure out or do on my own! If it sounds so simple then that’s because it is that simple. See, Jesus died for us and exchanged his righteousness for our sin, taking on our shortcomings and giving us his right standing with God. That means when I fall short, I don’t have to carry the weight of guilt or shame.
I don’t have to turn it around on my own. I can accept the forgiveness given so freely; I can freely grant forgiveness to others too. I can rely on Christ. This is an area I’m continuing to grow in 🙂 I have noticed that I sometimes still try to rely on my own wisdom, my own ability. For example, I think to myself that I can only forgive or be forgiven when it’s deserved – when amends have been made or remorse has been shown or a change has been demonstrated.
Yet Christ died for us whilst we were still sinners. God does not wait until we’re deserving before he shows us grace and mercy, before he forgives us. It is a gift paid for at a high price and freely given. Be aware that it doesn’t mean we get to squander that gift carelessly though. We don’t act recklessly just because we know we’re already forgiven. It calls for greater responsibility.
Greater responsibility yet it’s a weight off the shoulders. I feel free! I feel renewed! I do not have to carry the burden of guilt and shame. I do not have to rely on my own strength to forgive someone who wrongs me. Do you need forgiveness today? It’s a gift waiting for you to accept. Need to forgive someone? You already have everything you need to do so in Christ. Just ask him and be set free from “un-forgiveness”. 💛🌼
There’s a song I learnt in school which I absolutely love. It’s interesting that I didn’t particularly love this song at the time that I learnt it. In fact, I totally forgot about it until many years later. I’d finally accepted Jesus into my heart and now had a personal and intimate relationship with him.
I was going about my day when God reminded me of this song. The lyrics and the tune to the song popped into my head as clear as day. It wasn’t even Easter time at the time. I was surprised that I remembered it… Well, the first half of it 😄 Surprised but not shocked.
Lyrics to “My Lord He Died for a Kingdom”
I’d come to learn and understand that God speaks to us all the time. This was just one way that I discovered God speaks to me. I remember asking Him why the song? I thought I didn’t get a response at the time. Looking back, I realise it brings a sense of jubilation within me. I’m filled with joy and celebration as I sing it and remember what God has done for me, for you, for humanity, for all creation.
Jesus is a King who gave his life for the citizens of his kingdom. He died to redeem and bring us into this kingdom. Anyway, check out the lyrics to the song. It’s called “My Lord He Died for a Kingdom”. You can also listen to it on this link. I hope you experience the same jubilation, the same revelation, the same encounter with Jesus and more.
Definition: comfort or refreshment; Literal translation: drop
During my pre-school and early primary school years, my family stayed in a small town called Chegutu in Zimbabwe. When I say small town, I’m talking about one main road with a couple of robots (traffic lights) in the entire town, at least when we stayed there. I have fond memories of it like attending Mad Hatter Nursery school which I enjoyed attending. I used to get a few cents pocket money some Fridays and those were my most favourite days. There was this general dealer store that sold these marble sweets. They’d change colour as you sucked them and got closer to the centre. I haven’t been able to find those sweets since unfortunately.
I remember family parties either at our home or at my parent’s friends’ homes. They typically had kids my and my sibling’s age to play with. I remember fruit trees. Most people seemed to have those in their backyards those days. We had banana, citrus, and avocado trees. The best tree by far, in my opinion, was the bird plum tree [nyii] at one of my friend’s house. The tree was huge and fun to climb for us and it yielded so much yummy fruit. I remember when my parents finally allowed me to walk home from school with my friends unaccompanied. I felt like such a big girl and it was a satisfying, proud feeling.
There’s one memory I did not recall at all. A story around a violent thunderstorm that my mum told me about recently. Apparently, it had been extremely hot for a while. The heat was unbearable and there was concern about drought being an agrarian community. We went to church one Sunday and Mr. Garande, one of my dad’s friends prayed for rain; he asked God for “donhodzo”. In typical African fashion, it was long and drawn-out prayer. Mass was running long and the heat in the church was punishing1x. As much as we desperately needed the rain, in that moment many just longed to get home and get to lunch. Needless to stay, that prayer was certainly remembered long after church.
Later that day, the much-needed rain came. It came down in a torrential downpour accompanied by claps of thunder that sounded like they were going to split the sky open. The lightning was blinding. It was a remarkable thunderstorm that seemed to go on forever. While I’m not one to fear thunderstorms, I was not pleased. “Ah! Zvichingobvawo na vaGarande vakumbira donhodzo nhasi,” I commented which means, “Ah! This is all on Mr. Garande who asked for that ‘donhodzo’ earlier.” 😄😄 There’s a take-away in that story somewhere. Be careful what you wish for, right? Be very specific when you pray. God never gives in small or half measures 😀💛
Human being. A term we often use but we fail to exercise the latter part of the term, being. To me, “being” means, to breathe, to enjoy, to live, to be at peace, to be open. It is something we do not actively pursue every day. It is not something we think about in order to walk and live in but it is a state of heart and a way of living. Sadly, this is not the narrative for most people and I ask myself continually why this is.
I would imagine that when we were born, we were born pure. No walls built. No coping mechanisms to cope with trauma. No protection from the possibility of pain. We were just being in the purest form of what living could look like. But we were born into a world that is filled with broken people who end up hurting others and we grow up learning what it means to protect ourselves instead of growing up to enjoy community. I think we ought to protect ourselves with healthy boundaries within community, but we can tend to hang on to safety so much so that we isolate ourselves or keep everyone at bay because we do not trust. We think this helps but we were never meant to live life in isolation from community, but we were made for the community.
I grew up loving God and people and I am talking about deeply loving God and people. I soon came to realise that not everyone was as open to vulnerability within community as I was. Truth is, many people were hurt before and so asking them to come near a flame that could potentially burn them is like reawakening a pain that we ought not to bear. But it is important to remember that vulnerability is something that we need to cultivate within our relationships.
It is like the secret glue within communication that brings so much success to relationships. And may I also add that this has been the key to unlocking my deepest friendships to date. I have learned that I am a communicator and that incorporating vulnerability in my relationships are of utmost importance, especially if I view the particular relationship to be long term. However, even to someone who enjoys communication, vulnerability does not come easy. This is because it is an opening of oneself that can sometimes be accompanied by being uncomfortable and hesitant just because we generally do not give people access to these spaces.
There is so much more to community than just gathering around some food and chilling together. To be within community is to do life with people, and we all know how life can get some days. But doing life in community celebrates both spectrums of pain and joy alike and I feel as if we only want people to have access to the joys. But they will never truly appreciate the weight of the joy you carry if you do not allow them into those spaces of pain and sorrow. Not everyone is out to intentionally hurt us or break our trust. Some just don’t know how to do relationship or community. But like my good friend, Lauren, always says, we need to teach people how to love us. Sometimes people hurt out of ignorance and not malice, but we need to be willing to journey together to create healthy two-way relationships.
I remember in Psalm 23 that God prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies. So often I have heard this scripture being shared but somehow, there is always a focus on the table being prepared in the midst of our enemies and not the table itself. This year the Lord gave me this word as an encouragement for 2021. He started revealing to me that it is at the table where we share pain and joy alike. It is at the table where we are celebrated. No one is invited out of obligation to the table but everyone who is at the table is wanted. There is community at the table and we serve one another at the table. What am I trying to say here? I am saying that as we live life from the table in fellowship with God, we must not forget that there are others seated at the table as welcomed as you are. This is family. We were made for this.
So journeying through your life, who are the people that you can call community? And once you have identified them, can you say that you have opened up to vulnerability to take those relationships deeper? There is so much more, beloved. People are gifts sent to the earth and we ought to explore and cherish those we love and value.
About the author
Rowyn Coetzee is a creative, lover of people, music and laughter. Pursuer of childlikeness and not childishness.
I see the euphoric streets of Italy, I see the therapeutic walks through the faint mist oozing down from the horizon of England I see timeless moments patiently waiting to be conceived through endless dialogues with you… My, my, my… This is me silently being ravished by the Benevolent Moments of You
With every second I spend gazing at words that have been choreographed into telling novels I can’t help but ponder over the time God had spent in knitting you together… With every single comma that prevails where one would expect to see a bleak full stop, You are the story that keeps getting better and better…
My dear, You are enough. Though suffocating fumes of doubt and neglect may invade your state of utopia My dear, You are water: Vigorous enough to flood the lungs of Despair and make harsh lips quake, Yet benevolent enough to stimulate life and love in those who choose to surf your turbulent waves…
Not a single day goes by without ever asking myself how I managed to find the kind of love that harnesses the soul… I’ve always believed I’d find the one that I’ve been reserving my heart for; But who would’ve thought I’d find myself a Queen? My dear, you’re better than what I was ever ready for… You entice me with your mind, soothe my soul with your words… Strengthen me with your character, yet you weaken me with your smile… My, my, my… You are the perfect definition of Jesus’ love for me, For I can never grow tired of seeing the unfailing quality of ineffable mysteries within your eyes…
With every waking moment With every second I spend on my knees before our God I can’t help but see the euphoric streets of Italy, To see the therapeutic walks through the faint mist oozing down from the horizon of England To see timeless moments patiently waiting to be conceived through endless dialogues with you.. My, my, my… This is me continuously being ravished by the Benevolent Moments of You With hopes that someday we will stand hand in hand, and confess to each other, “I do”
About the author
Ntheteng Mathunyane – speaker of words, people’s poet, man of faith, and more.
At times the eyes of my heart deceive me I look upon that which bears the image of the Divine and I fail to see heaven residing within I see but cracks and imperfections instead
At times the ears of my soul deceive me My soul knows full well from whence it came I know the voice of the lover of my soul Yet I hear voices of doubt and fear instead
But God… He cannot be silenced The Divine cannot be ignored, not for long As deep cries out to deep so my soul yearns It too, cannot be silenced or ignored
The deceiver of my heart cannot triumph Let the scales fall from the eyes of my heart Pray I see clearly once more For My heart surely knows lie from truth
My soul knows from whence it came The deceiver of my soul cannot have the last word Pray my ears hear clearly once more For they surely know the voice of my Father
In that day, deaf ears will hear* Out of gloom and darkness the eyes of the blind will see. My heart and soul, they hear the words of the scroll For they’ve been set free and they see the light
The year was 2008. I was a student living in Cape Town, South Africa and there was an outbreak of xenophobic attacks around the country that year. Tensions were high and many immigrants living in South Africa were badly affected by violent attacks. Countless foreigners lived in fear for their safety and lives. Their loved ones outside the country watched in horror as the reports of violent and aggressive acts circulated on news and social media. Many were displaced. Some lost their lives. It was a heart-breaking and trying time.
The church I used to attend at that time kindly converted the church building into a shelter for displaced immigrants and refugees from high-risk areas. Many other churches, universities, schools, and spaces with means also did the same. As an immigrant myself, I was fortunate to be living in a neighbourhood that was relatively safe. I could move around freely as normal. However, that did not stop my parents, my friends, and other family members from worrying about my safety. Though I was not directly or physically impacted, I was impacted emotionally and psychologically. I watched what was happening around the country in dismay. At times I’d feel outraged and yet have no outlet for it.
I felt indignant and helpless. The country I had come to love as my second home now felt hostile and uninhabitable. Cynicism began to creep in. I remember that I’d look at my neighbours or strangers in the street with distrust. I wondered which side of the fence they sat on. If they knew or discovered that I was an immigrant, would they smile at me then plot my demise behind my back or would they treat me as an equal? Would they be the one to betray a foreigner or were they an ally? Did they sympathise with those displaced and affected or were they secretly glad, telling themselves that finally something was being done about the influx of refugees and immigrants.
So, it was in this mental state that I went to the shops near my apartment one day. I’d stiffen and bridle each time I met someone in public. I worried that they’d strike up a conversation with me with the intention to discern my nationality then harm me. Sure, there hadn’t been any incidents in my area as I mentioned however, I was fearful nonetheless. As I walked, a lady that seemed friendly stopped to speak to me. I looked around and realised there was no one nearby should the encounter turn ugly. I stopped to speak to her all the same.
She seemed friendly and harmless enough.
I can’t remember how the conversation actually started or much of what we spoke about. I do remember her mentioning that she lived in or near the area and that she was indeed South African. She spoke about the displaced foreigners that were taking refuge at the church I attended and I asked her if she attended the same church. I was pretty sure that hadn’t seen her there before. It was a very small church where everybody was familiar with everybody. She told me that she did not. I asked her a few more questions to find out if she knew me or we’d crossed paths before. We hadn’t. Now, though I can’t remember how the conversation started, I do remember very clearly how it ended.
She apologised to me on behalf of her fellow South Africans. She denounced the xenophobic attacks and asked whether I was okay and safe. She urged me to remember that not all South Africans are like the aggressive and violent minority. Lastly, she asked me if she could give me a hug. I said yes and then she put her arms around me, hugged me briefly, then said goodbye. She went on her way and I went on mine, however, I was not the same after those parting words and that parting hug. She said the words that I really needed to hear that day.
The walls I hadn’t realised I’d allowed to encase my heart concerning South Africans, in general, came tumbling down. I realised that bias and prejudgement had begun to take root in my heart. Moreover, I realised that I felt justified for the prejudice I was beginning to harbour. With a simple hug and some kind words, the lady I met on Campground Road in Rondebosch that day helped me to not only realise it but to also change my heart and mind. To this day, I still have not figured out who she was or how she knew that I was an immigrant without even asking me. That’s not what’s important to me though.
What’s important to me is how God used a simple encounter with a friendly stranger to minister to and heal my heart. He knew what I was feeling and thinking. He knew exactly what I needed and he sent an angel in the form of this lady to provide it. When God showed up for me, the distrust and cynicism I was harbouring crumbled. He showed me how I was going astray with the prejudice, but he also began to heal the fear and trauma I was experiencing because of what was happening. What’s important to me is the courage, empathy, and kindness a stranger showed me. It inspired me and left me forever changed and blessed.
Discouragement. We have all been there. You put in all the effort you can master, try your best, but you do not get the result you hoped for. Perhaps you’ve knocked on what feels like 1,000 doors and none has been opened to you. Maybe you feel like your dream is deferred or out of your reach. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.” Perhaps you’ve shared something that you were excited and passionate about only to be dissuaded by those you thought would support your vision. Whatever the cause, you find yourself dealing with the sting of discouragement.
Whilst it is a natural response that we all have experienced at one point or another, the thing about discouragement is that it can sap your energy. Left unchecked, it can deplete your drive, hinder your progress, and steal your peace and joy. I’m reminded of a story about the Israelites in the Bible. For over 400 years, they were enslaved and suffered harsh treatment at the hands of their captors. God sent a messenger, Moses, to tell them that he was about to free them from captivity in a mighty way. However, they did not listen “because of their discouragement and harsh labour.” It’s difficult to have hope or to stay on course when you’re discouraged. So how do you deal with discouragement? Here are a few helpful tips.
1. Check your thoughts
Your outlook has a lot to do with your internal dialogue. If you’re feeling discouraged, check what you’ve been saying to yourself about yourself, about your situation, or about people around you. Your thoughts shape your reality. I had a setback recently and I immediately said to myself, “All doors seem to be closing in my face. Why is this happening to me?” Thankfully, I quickly realised that not only was I feeling sorry for myself, but I was also catastrophising. I came to a faulty conclusion based on one incident, turning it into a disaster which it wasn’t. Not all doors were closing in my face. I’d just experienced a setback. Once I checked my thoughts against the facts, the discouragement I’d felt began to dissolve.
2. Shift focus
There’s a saying that really resonates with me which says energy flows where attention goes. It means that what you focus on magnifies and will inevitably draw on your energy. The Bible encourages us to focus on whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and whatever is commendable. If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about such things (Philippians 4:8). And so rather than focus on what you cannot control or influence, focus on what is within your control. Rather than focus on what you do not have, focus on how you can use and leverage what you do have. Rather than focus on the problem, focus on solutions and learning from the problem. Let your energy and effort flow towards that.
3. Shift Direction
Sometimes it helps to redirect. Reflect on where you are concerning your goals or expectations then calibrate. Take the adversities or challenges you’re facing into account then adjust. This means that you may need to change direction or change the vehicle that you’re using to reach your destination, not the destination itself. What you do not want to do is abandon your goal just because you’re discouraged. Do not give up or become discouraged when reality does not match your expectations. Shift direction or change tactics instead.
4. Seek Advice
We all have a blind spot or two – things that are apparent to others yet we cannot see them. If you feel like you keep coming up against a brick wall or you don’t know what to do anymore, ask for help. The key that you need to unlock your situation may be apparent or accessible to someone else so seek advice. Asking for help is not easy for a lot of people. It certainly isn’t easy for me but we all need help sometimes. Get advice from someone objective, trustworthy, who knows you well, and has your best interests at heart. As a Christian, I find the best person to ask for help is Jesus. There are countless times that I have asked him what I should do or why I feel discouraged or why something is happening and he never disappoints me. When I ask God for his opinion or help on a matter, he unlocks and clarifies things like no one can. He is my ever-present help.
5. Encourage Yourself
You’re not powerless against discouragement and negativity. Though it’s easier said than done, you can fight it and overcome. What are the things that uplift and encourage you when you need it the most? Many things encourage me, including uplifting music, listening to my favourite motivational speaker, and talking to my very supportive friends and family. Above all this, though, I have learnt to encourage myself in the Lord. I find God provides immediate and effective relief when I need it if I let him. The operative phrase is “if I let him”. I don’t know about you but I don’t always find it easy to let go and let him take control of a situation. However, when I do, God gives me a great perspective, renewed strength, and encouragement. So encourage yourself in the Lord as David did in 1 Samuel 30.
With all that’s happening in the world and perhaps in your personal life, it can be so easy to become weary or discouraged or jaded. After a very challenging 2020, you may be feeling emotionally fatigued, overwhelmed, depleted, or grieved. Perhaps you do not even have the words to articulate what you’re feeling.
You do not have to feel that way. You don’t have to carry the burden of life or adulting or your challenges alone. You don’t have to worry. Even in your grieving there is one who is faithful and who promises to walk with you every step of the way. There is one who promises to lift your burdens and bear them for you.
The Lord will fight for you while you [only need to] keep silent and remain calm.
✝️ Exodus 14:14 (AMP)
That one is Jesus. So be still. Find rest in him. Find freedom in him. Find strength in him. Allow him to meet whatever need you’re facing today. Enjoy your life like Jesus intends you to. He longs for you to be in a state of constant peace and calm and he has the power to give that to you💕🌸!
iBloom for God 