With greatness and achievement, often comes stature and popularity or renown. And when one is excellent and surpasses all others by a great margin as to be incomparable, a measure of pride is only natural. In fact, a level of arrogance is often expected in such a person. That is why it never ceases to amaze me that the Lord Jesus is humble and tender in heart.
From His birth in a manger for a bed to His life on this Earth to His death on the cross, He chose not to exalt Himself even though if anyone had a right to, it would have been Him. After His death, we hear that the Father “exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father”. Yet, even now, pride is not something that can be associated with Him.
I am in reverence and awe of such a heart, such character. What an example?! How is it possible that someone so great, so perfect and possessing the highest level of authority could be humble? Of course, it doesn’t make sense when considered from a human perspective but the kingdom of heaven is unlike any other. In the kingdom of heaven, the one who is least is the greatest. Humility is a virtue to be embraced. A humble person pleases God. He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).
I’m sure you’ve heard the adage ‘pride goes before a fall’ in one form or the other. The Bible tells us that “when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2). It’s not always easy to choose humility. It is contrary to how the world works, in general, and that is why it is so surprising to encounter humility especially in a person who has every reason not to be humble. Imagine then, what a powerful testimony it would be that we follow the way of Jesus when we show true humility.
So, I pose the question to you and me – what are some ways we could grow in humility today?
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24
It was a day like any other. Mummy went to work as usual, had an uneventful day there and returned home. When she went to get her handbag, though, she couldn’t find it. She was not alarmed at first. She was sure she’d just placed it somewhere absentmindedly and would soon find it.
A Missing handbag
“Have you seen my handbag?” she asked me. I hadn’t but I, too, was not alarmed. “Have you checked the car,” I responded. “Yes, I have and it’s not there.” I started to help her look for it all over the house, retracing her steps. We were so sure it was in the house somewhere. Nothing. After a little while, it became clear the handbag was not in the house or the car so she called her workplace.
By this time, we were slightly worried. There were valuables in the bag including her wallet with all her bank cards, ID and a good amount of cash. She also had three mobile phones in the bag, one of which belonged to my recently deceased father. See, we had been looking for contacts that he kept such as the plumber, electrician, and handyman he used regularly among other important details for service providers, his friends and associates.
We had just found them on his secondary phone (he had two) and we were elated. We had been struggling with getting hold of certain service providers and really feeling the gap that he left behind. Anyway, she called work and they promised to search and call her back. They thoroughly searched her office and the entire premises – it was not found. We prayed that the bag and its contents would turn up. Then it dawned on her…
She had been called in to work for an emergency that morning and in her hurried state to attend to the emergency, she must have left the bag in the car and the car unlocked. Needless to say, we were devastated. She had just gotten the cash for something important, not to mention the irreplaceable phone and books she had in there. We kept praying and, in my frustration, I said, “Whoever took that bag should know that such actions do not bring blessings.”
Grace After Loss
I even started to say out loud that they shouldn’t expect to progress or prosper in life if that is how they went about things but God would not let me. He would not let me criticise the person any further or speak about their future in that way. He checked me so clearly, and I was surprised. He knew the hurt I was feeling at losing something that belonged to my dad, something that couldn’t be replaced, something that we needed at that time. He knew the need we had for that cash. He knew how difficult it is to replace cards, IDs and driving licenses. He was fully aware and He was… What?
He was showing grace and asking me to do the same. He placed on my heart that I did not know the person who took the bag or their circumstances and what led them to commit what was probably an act of desperation. We all fail, make wrong choices and fall short. This person needed grace not judgement, and certainly not judgement from me, one who falls short too. Saying what I was saying, thinking what I was thinking, was not going to change my situation or make me feel better – at least in the long term. What it would do is potentially harden my heart towards someone and place distance between me and God. And my Heavenly Father was having none of that!
So, I repented, changed my stance and shared with my mum what I’d heard God say to me.
Guess, what?! She felt God was placing the same message of grace on her heart too! And so, we placed our trust in Him in the matter and carried on with the day. Not too long after that, my mum received a call from someone she did not know. Turns out this man was a pastor, like my mum, and saw a handbag lying in a ditch next to the road. He was hesitant at first but something prompted him to pick it up and open it. He found my mum’s business card inside – her pastoral card – and decided to call her.
We went to meet him in the city centre, which in itself was not an easy feat because he had quite a busy day and had to go out of his way to ensure he got the bag back to us. He later shared that when he saw that the bag belonged to a fellow pastor, he was so moved and he knew he had to get the handbag back to us at all costs. We briefly shared the story of how the bag went missing, how God showed grace to the person who stole the bag in the first place and how He orchestrated that mummy get the handbag back through a fellow pastor.
God’s Grace is Sufficient
The cash was missing from the bag, and so were the phones. In the place of hurt and disappointment though, a newfound grace for the perpetrator, trust in God’s provision and sustenance, and peace through it all had taken deep root. When I shared the story with my Bible study group, all were amazed at the turn of events, at how God led with grace in such a situation and caused us to do the same, thereby bringing Glory to God. This was about four years ago but it still stands as a powerful testimony to me and my family.
I hope that by sharing this story with you, it also stands as a powerful testimony to you about the unmerited grace God gives us and perhaps those that have wronged or hurt us. It is not always easy to accept or to give, especially in light of accountability, justice and restitution. However, these things are not mutually exclusive. God is just and merciful. God is the bringer of both justice and grace. It is for us to follow His example and be led by Him because only he can see the complete story, the past, the present and the parts that are still to be written.
Jesus died for our sins, knowing full well how undeserving we all are. I mean, that was the whole point. So, reflect on the level of grace in your life. Let God’s grace grab ahold of your heart. Let Him show you how to walk in grace, if you aren’t doing so already. Accept the grace God has freely given, and grant yourself and others grace when you or they falter. 2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV says God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things, at all times, you may abound in every good work. Only God can supply the desire, the strength and skill to live a live that is worthy of Him.
He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time. 2 Timothy 1:9
Lately, I have been enjoying how God has been using unlikely creatures in the animal kingdom to reveal things, reminders or lessons, if you will. Today, I got a mental picture of a ladybug while I was praying. Naturally, I looked up some facts about ladybugs and have compiled seven Bible-based reminders for daily living from the lovely little ladybug.
Be Useful
Ladybugs eat pests that are harmful to plants such as aphids, and one beetle – yes, ladybugs are beetles – can eat up to 5,000 of these in its lifetime. This is very useful to farmers and makes ladybugs well-loved by them. How can you serve God and others today and everyday like the ladybug? Galatians 6:10, John 9:4
Be an answer to prayer
It is said that ladybugs showed up after farmers prayed for a solution to pests that were ravaging their crops. I think this is noteworthy. Imagine how joyful and blessed those farmers felt after the ladybugs arrived and cleaned up their fields. You can also be a blessing and an answer to prayer, and often, just by simply showing up and being magnificently you. Genesis 12:2, Proverbs 11:25
Be a good planner
Did you know that ladybugs can plan ahead for shortages in their food supply? They are able to eat their eggs – yes, gross – and so, they lay infertile eggs for themselves and for their young to eat when there are shortages. Likewise, be sure to plan ahead under the Lordship, leadership and guidance of God. Proverbs 16:3, Proverbs 24:27
Be colourful – show your true colours
To show your true colours means to reveal your character or to make known what you are really like in nature.
Ladybugs come in a variety of colours and markings. In fact, there are about 5,000 varieties of them and I’m sure you’ve seen how beautiful they are. Let this inspire you to allow God to nurture and build your character then let is shine for the world to enjoy and find inspiration. Galatians 5:22-23, Philippians 4:8, Colossians 3:12-14
Be transformed
Like the dung and other beetles, ladybugs go through a transformation from young to adulthood. As a follower of Christ, you also go through a transformation from spiritual immaturity to maturity as stated in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” Lean into the transformation God has planned for you. Isaiah 64:8, Romans 12:2
Be vigilant about enemies
The colours of a ladybug, as pleasant as they are, serve a purpose. They deter predators, making them think the beetles are poisonous and no good for eating! You have a natural predator, the devil, and you are to ‘be alert and of sober mind for your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour’ (1 Peter 5:9). Be vigilant against the enemy of your soul. Ephesians 6:10-18, 1 Peter 5:9
Be fruitful and multiply
Ladybugs are found everywhere except the Arctic and in Antarctic. They live in many habitats and adapt to many different conditions. They are quick to mature and are very productive. Emulate the ladybug and be effective and fruitful for it is to your Heavenly Father’s glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourself to be Jesus’ disciple (John 15:8). John 15:4-5, Luke 6:43-45, Genesis 1:28
But the Father will send the Holy Spirit to be with you.
He will be your Helper. He will come in my name, and he will teach you all things.
He will help you to remember everything that I have told you.
John 14:26 Easy English
It never fails to bring me joy and amaze me just how much Jesus cares about my day-to-day life. The things that fill my day and fill my mind are of concern to Him. He chooses to concern Himself with the things that concern me, be it small and seemingly inconsequential things or the bigger things that change the trajectory or the quality of my life. For example, I have a small garden of succulents that have been struck by a disease. Some have died, some are dying and some are sick and in need of help. I was concerned about losing them all and I prayed. It gave me peace and hope that Jesus would heal them.
This is a relatively small issue yet Jesus’ response about my succulents was just as timely, tender-hearted, considerate, and as reassuring as His response was when I prayed about my mother’s health. She has been unwell and I was worried. The moment I prayed for her, His peace washed over me and I received assurance that she shall be well. What a good friend I have in Jesus! Last week, I was taking stock of my finances and quickly realised I wasn’t going to be able to do all the things I was planning and hoping to do. Without even having to consciously pray about it, Jesus reminded me of a Bible verse I’d posted a few days earlier:
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am He; I am He who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4 NIV
I felt God saying to me, “I will sustain you. I will carry you.” What a good Father God is! He knows my hopes and dreams. He knows my worries and cares. He knows my plans, but more importantly, He knows the plans he has for me, plans for a future and a hope, plans to prosper me and not harm me (Jeremiah 29:11). Earlier today, I was praying about a big and important decision. I was feeling a little apprehensive and was aware that I’d been placing pressure on myself to move forward and take a step. So, I was praying for guidance. I was praying that I would make the decision based on His purpose and plans for me and not out of fear or desperation or whatever pressure I was feeling.
I felt that still, quiet voice that I have come to know and love so much say, “Soar. Spread your wings, daughter.” It reminded me of the Bible verse in Isaiah 40:31:
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint.
What an amazing encourager, guide, and comforter the Holy Spirit is! Where would I be without Jesus? For He is a sustainer, an encourager, a friend, a comforter, and a good leader. If you need sustenance today or guidance, why don’t you ask Him? If you need to run something by someone or some advice, why don’t you tell Him what you need? If you need reassurance, encouragement, or comfort, it is readily available for you. Talk to Jesus; He is waiting for you!
Discouragement. We have all been there. You put in all the effort you can master, try your best, but you do not get the result you hoped for. Perhaps you’ve knocked on what feels like 1,000 doors and none has been opened to you. Maybe you feel like your dream is deferred or out of your reach. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.” Perhaps you’ve shared something that you were excited and passionate about only to be dissuaded by those you thought would support your vision. Whatever the cause, you find yourself dealing with the sting of discouragement.
Whilst it is a natural response that we all have experienced at one point or another, the thing about discouragement is that it can sap your energy. Left unchecked, it can deplete your drive, hinder your progress, and steal your peace and joy. I’m reminded of a story about the Israelites in the Bible. For over 400 years, they were enslaved and suffered harsh treatment at the hands of their captors. God sent a messenger, Moses, to tell them that he was about to free them from captivity in a mighty way. However, they did not listen “because of their discouragement and harsh labour.” It’s difficult to have hope or to stay on course when you’re discouraged. So how do you deal with discouragement? Here are a few helpful tips.
1. Check your thoughts
Your outlook has a lot to do with your internal dialogue. If you’re feeling discouraged, check what you’ve been saying to yourself about yourself, about your situation, or about people around you. Your thoughts shape your reality. I had a setback recently and I immediately said to myself, “All doors seem to be closing in my face. Why is this happening to me?” Thankfully, I quickly realised that not only was I feeling sorry for myself, but I was also catastrophising. I came to a faulty conclusion based on one incident, turning it into a disaster which it wasn’t. Not all doors were closing in my face. I’d just experienced a setback. Once I checked my thoughts against the facts, the discouragement I’d felt began to dissolve.
2. Shift focus
There’s a saying that really resonates with me which says energy flows where attention goes. It means that what you focus on magnifies and will inevitably draw on your energy. The Bible encourages us to focus on whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and whatever is commendable. If there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about such things (Philippians 4:8). And so rather than focus on what you cannot control or influence, focus on what is within your control. Rather than focus on what you do not have, focus on how you can use and leverage what you do have. Rather than focus on the problem, focus on solutions and learning from the problem. Let your energy and effort flow towards that.
3. Shift Direction
Sometimes it helps to redirect. Reflect on where you are concerning your goals or expectations then calibrate. Take the adversities or challenges you’re facing into account then adjust. This means that you may need to change direction or change the vehicle that you’re using to reach your destination, not the destination itself. What you do not want to do is abandon your goal just because you’re discouraged. Do not give up or become discouraged when reality does not match your expectations. Shift direction or change tactics instead.
We all have a blind spot or two – things that are apparent to others yet we cannot see them. If you feel like you keep coming up against a brick wall or you don’t know what to do anymore, ask for help. The key that you need to unlock your situation may be apparent or accessible to someone else so seek advice. Asking for help is not easy for a lot of people. It certainly isn’t easy for me but we all need help sometimes. Get advice from someone objective, trustworthy, who knows you well, and has your best interests at heart. As a Christian, I find the best person to ask for help is Jesus. There are countless times that I have asked him what I should do or why I feel discouraged or why something is happening and he never disappoints me. When I ask God for his opinion or help on a matter, he unlocks and clarifies things like no one can. He is my ever-present help.
5. Encourage Yourself
You’re not powerless against discouragement and negativity. Though it’s easier said than done, you can fight it and overcome. What are the things that uplift and encourage you when you need it the most? Many things encourage me including uplifting music, listening to my favourite motivational speaker, and talking to my very supportive friends and family. Above all these things though, I have learnt to encourage myself in the Lord. I find God provides immediate and effective relief when I need it if I let him. The operative phrase is “if I let him”. I don’t know about you but I don’t always find it easy to let go and let him take control of a situation. However, when I do, God gives me a great perspective, renewed strength, and encouragement. So encourage yourself in the Lord as David did in 1 Samuel 30.
“It’s okay. I went for my Sunday walk. I’m supposed to be working now but I don’t feel inspired,” I replied.
“Inspired?! At times you just have to discipline yourself and do the work when you don’t feel like it. That’s life,” she responded.
This is part of a conversation I had with my mum recently. She was encouraging and challenging me to stay the course when it was the last thing that I felt like doing. See, this past week has been a difficult one for me, and not because something happened. No. It was more of an internal battle. On the surface, it was a regular week like any other. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. If anything, a couple of my plans fell into place just like they were supposed to. However, I began to feel discouraged about those that did not. I began to feel stressed about timelines and workload and productivity. I began to feel frustrated about hoping and waiting for specific things and not seeing movement. I began to feel “blah”.
The more frustrated and discouraged I felt, the harder it was for me to continue doing what I needed to do. Though it was an ordinary week and everything was business-as-usual, I suddenly found myself in a mental and emotional state that wasn’t serving me well. That is what my mum was addressing in my conversation with her. It got me thinking and reflecting on how to stay the course when you really don’t feel like it. How do you continue doing what is necessary when motivation and will power fail you – and they will? There are many times when I try to “vasbyt” it which is an Afrikaner way to say hold on, endure, and ride it out. That sometimes works for me but this past week it did not help much. I decided to compile a list of some of the stuff that helps me and this is what I came up with:
Prayer
I find prayer so helpful for any and every occasion. Prayer means talking to God about what I’m facing or dealing with. It means asking for help and anticipating a response from him. It means confiding in a trusted friend who cares for my wellbeing. Prayer is especially helpful when I cannot see past whatever mental or emotional block that I’m stumbling on.
Remember your why
Remembering why I started the journey in the first place is usually compelling enough to keep me going even when I don’t feel motivated or inspired. It’s also a great way to fight the voice of doubt. This is because my reasons for what I am doing are deeply meaningful to me. I will always say a resounding yes to those personal reasons despite my feelings.
Discipline begets discipline
I find that discipline and self-control in one area usually spill over into other areas of your life. I genuinely love exercising and it has the bonus of causing the release of endorphins. Another added bonus is that it builds on my discipline. Because I continued to exercise last week even when I didn’t feel like it, it built up my confidence and helped me bounce back in other areas as well.
Acknowledge it
If you’re genuinely struggling, don’t ignore it. One of my favourite sayings is “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge” by Dr Phil. I think it’s a very simple yet powerful concept. You can’t deal with a challenge or issue unless you admit it exists and recognise it for what it is. This is why trying to vasbyt my way past my emotional and mental state didn’t work for me last week. I was trying to gloss over the issue. This leads me to the next point.
Deal with the root cause
Handle the cause of an issue or challenge, not the symptom. Whilst I’d initially thought that I was experiencing a general sense of malaise that would pass quickly, I realised that wasn’t the case. This told me that there had to be an underlying reason. The reason wasn’t immediately apparent to me though and that’s okay. Even my commitment to deal with the root cause once I figured it out was helpful. Eventually, I realised that some of the thoughts I was having were the root cause. They were affecting my mood and my ability to work.
Express but don’t wallow
One thing that goes hand in hand with acknowledging a challenge or an issue and dealing with it is making sure not to wallow in it. Allow your thoughts and emotions to take shape. Express them fully; however, do not focus on them so much that it gets debilitating. For example, during the past week, I allowed my thoughts and emotions around specific things to begin to drain me. I had to reorient. Conversely, it’s easy to brush aside underlying feelings and thoughts when you’re stressed or busy. However, brushing aside your emotions may be a contributor to your challenges so do not ignore them.
Be Inspired
We all have something that never fails to inspire us such as a favourite motivational speaker or author. Music usually does it for me. It’s incredible how music can shift and uplift your mood. It has the ability to calm or to invigorate. It can inspire and move you. When I can’t find the inspiration or the motivation to exercise or to work or to keep at something, meaningful music can be a great way to shift my disposition. Anything that inspires or motivates or uplifts me can help me stay the course when I just don’t feel like it.
One thing I tend to say often is that when I count my blessings, my friendship circle is right up there. I highly value friendship in general and the good friends I’ve made over the years in particular. I’m lucky in friendship or should I say I’m blessed. A friendship I particularly enjoy and value is my relationship with Jesus. It is a relationship that has evolved and matured over time and continues to do so. Having been raised in a traditional church, I must say that I grew up with a mixed view on who God is and on how to relate to him. On the one hand, I knew the songs and scriptures about this amazing friend called Jesus who loves me so much that he died for my sins and carries my burdens on his shoulders.
On the other hand, I saw God as this authoritative being who commanded total obedience and submission from me with no compromise. Scriptures that speak of people being called to be holy or perfect really challenged me and stressed me out. They sounded impossible to follow despite my deep desire to do so. I struggled to reconcile the near-authoritarian God, at least in my mind, with the tender-hearted and loving friend. I distinctly remember when the mind shift began to take place. A friend of mine mentioned that she spoke to God about anything and everything – her thoughts, ideas, dreams, challenges, temptations, and more. She talked to him about the good, the bad, the ugly, and the mundane.
I’d never witnessed anyone relating to Jesus in this manner and I was intrigued. I wanted what she described because it sounded amazing. I vowed, inwardly, to give it go. It wasn’t easy and more often than not, I wasn’t sure whether Jesus was indeed at the other end of the conversation. If I went by faith that he was, I wasn’t sure of what he was thinking or saying. Fast forward to several years later when I got saved – you can read that story here – the scriptures that used to challenge and stress me no longer did so. I began to realise that whilst God called me to be holy as he is holy, he provides me with the strength and ability to do so. I realised that obedience and submission were for my own good because I was actually created to be in relationship with him.
Abraham was called God’s friend. He had a close relationship with God. At some point in the story, God visits Abraham at his home with two representatives. Abraham is honoured by their presence and graciously hosts them. That is such a beautiful illustration of the relationship God calls us to have with him. In Revelations 3:20 he says, “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” At the end of the visit, the visitors got up to leave and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. On a side note, we do this in my culture in Zimbabwe. It is polite, as a host, to see your guests on their way. It is called kuperekedza vaenzi (seeing your guests on their way).
The near-authoritarian view I had of God disappeared as I began to discover more and more of his heart and character for me and for everyone. Whilst he has all authority and is a God of justice, he is also slow to anger, quick to forgive and full of unfailing love. Though it’s been over a decade of walking with God as my friend, I still peel back layers or discover new aspects to this friendship all the time. I’ll give you an example. I’d never really meditated on the reciprocity of the friendship. What I mean is that I call Jesus my friend and act like a friend towards him. However, I had never really thought through what me being his friend means and looks like. I’ve been studying the book of Genesis, particularly the story of Abraham. The story painted a beautiful picture of what God considering me his friend means and what it looks like.
Back to the story, God then decides to confide in Abraham about his plans for two cities because Abraham was his friend. See, Abraham’s nephew and his family lived in one of the cities and would therefore be affected by God’s plan to pass judgement on them. God listened to Abraham’s thoughts and ideas on the matter. He allowed Abraham to present his case on behalf of his nephew and family. God effectively held council with Abraham outside his home! I was blown away when I read this. What this means is that, like Abraham, I too can enter into God’s council anytime. God has given me that privilege as his friend. I can speak my heart and mind in his council in heaven and my voice is heard. He considers what I say and what I ask. That is profound!
I remember my mum once telling me that as a child of God, I’ll find that God will often tell me what he is about to do before he does it out of regard for me. That is exactly what God did with Abraham. I have personally experienced this in my life many times as well. Because God considers me his friend, I have experienced that he confides in me and lets me in on his thoughts and plans prior to the events or at the time of the event. God often prepares me for something long before it happens. He also walks with me through all my life experiences. As I was studying the story of Abraham, it became clearer to me that my friend with God is mutual. It is reciprocated. Jesus is my friend just as I am his friend. Friends, that is such a beautiful and precious thing don’t you think?
Jesus showed up just when I needed the company and a new perspective
I absolutely love walking. I’ve enjoyed walking for as long as I can remember. I take the opportunity to walk as often as I can. One morning, I was visiting a friend who lived across from the Rondebosch Common in Cape Town. The Common is an open piece of land popular for running and walking. On that morning, I was trying to get my friend to go for a walk with me around the common. It was a beautiful day. The sun was out but it wasn’t hot. Walking is good exercise and is good for the soul. These are some of the things I said to her entice her to join me. She wasn’t too keen. Eventually, I gave up and decided to go walking on my own.
Rondebosch Common, Cape Town
I’m not sure why her deciding not to join me for a walk upset me but it did. Perhaps I had been hoping to spend some quality time together. Perhaps I just wanted the company and felt a little rejected when I didn’t get it. In any case, I set off along the Common, walking briskly and purposely as I went, partly because of my mood but also because I was determined to get my exercise in, soak up some sun, and then get on with the day. I’m not sure that I initially enjoyed that walk. I started praying not long into my walk. As I prayed, I slowed down considerably and as I slowed down, I noticed a shift in my perspective and my mood.
I began to notice my surroundings, things that had been there previously but that I had not been aware of. I had been caught up in my thoughts. I had also been walking too quickly to notice. My focus shifted from one thing to the next as I walked around the Common. My attention would be drawn to something and I would just consider or notice it then my focus would shift to a different aspect. I wasn’t deliberately shifting focus. It was as if my mind was being drawn to something. When that happened, the things I’d noticed previously wouldn’t just disappear out of focus. The new aspect would augment the experience and I’d see or hear it all together as if it was being layered, one thing over the other. It was as if I was watching and experiencing the moments in concert.
Initially, I noticed the sounds around me: the cars, the birds, the insects, and the leaves rustling in the wind. Then that was layered by sights of life happening all around me. I noticed the birds flying overhead. I saw some grasshoppers hopping about in the grass nearby. I noticed people going about their day. Then my attention was drawn to the cool breeze against my skin, offsetting the warmth of the morning sun. Eventually, my attention turned to my feet falling one in front of the other before me, and inevitably, my attention turned inwards to my thoughts and emotions. I immediately realised that I was enjoying the walk so much more compared to when I first started. As I continued to walk, I couldn’t help but see a parallel to life and draw some life lessons from it.
Slow Down
Often, I am busy and rushed in my day-to-day life. I’m sure you can relate to the need to get things done, ticking items off a to-do list, getting the proverbial monkey off your back, and keeping that productivity up. These are good things but sometimes, left unchecked, they can rob you of the joy of living. I often find myself caught up in and distracted by the challenges of the day or of the moment. How many things have I missed or not noticed as a result? How much enjoyment have I foregone? On the other hand, when I slow down, I can take in so much more and enjoy so much more. When I slow down, I become present which I find is a better state of mind to operate from.
Worship through Nature Nurture
Speaking of being present, as I became aware of the vegetation, the birds, the insects, and the life all around me, I also became aware of the litter. Sadly, there was litter on the Common and on the pavement that I was walking on. I was shocked because I didn’t remember seeing litter there before and thought, “When did this happen?” I felt saddened because it marred the beauty I had been enjoying just a moment earlier. “Look at your creation, God. Look at what we’re doing to it,” I said to God. I felt so moved I started to pick up as much trash as I could as I went along. It felt awkward at first, to be honest. I did it nonetheless because I felt like God was telling me that to nurture and take good care of the things He created and the things He loves is an act of worship.
Focus Outwards
When I first started walking that morning, I was inwardly focused. I was focused on the slight rejection I’d felt. I was focused on my need to get some exercise in for the day. I was focused on what I needed to do after my walk. I was also focused on enjoying my walk yet, ironically, because enjoyment had become a task to be ticked off a list, I wasn’t getting much of it. It was only after I started praying and focusing on God that I could sense what God was drawing my attention to and teaching me through my surroundings. Only when I slowed down and my focus turned outward to the beauty of life around me did I begin to truly enjoy my walk and appreciate my surroundings. Only when my focus shifted outward did I notice the state of the Common and could do my part about the litter I was seeing. I couldn’t help but be reminded that where I place my focus matters. I live life better and am a better person, in general, when my focus is on God, firstly, and outward on the beauty of life and of playing my part in the world.
A lesson I learnt from God without realising it at the time
I grew up in a Christian home which meant I attended church regularly with my family. In fact, we went to church on most Sundays. As I got older, I found myself going to church on my own. It became more than just the choice that was expected of me. It was something I actually wanted to do. Needless to say, I’ve heard many sermons over the years, too many to even count.
Despite the number of sermons I’ve listened to, there’s a book in the Bible I‘ve only ever heard preached on once. That book is the Song of Songs. If you’ve heard many sermons as I have I’m sure you can attest to this. If you’re not familiar with it, it contains poetic depictions of the love and longing between a man and a woman. Yet I still found myself wondering why it was never preached on in church but more about that sermon later.
I was about 14 or 15 years old when this book took on a different meaning for me. I went to boarding school and we had a schedule for everything including study time. It was evening study time and I seldom studied during evening study time in my O’ Levels. Instead, I used the time for anything else from reading novels to performing impromptu skits for the class with my best friend and partner in crime. At one point, I even started writing a novel.
To give you some insight into my frame of mind at this point, I was in a phase where I was questioning and seeking. I believed in God, in His existence. I prayed and read my Bible regularly. I believed the things they taught me in church and in Sunday School or Catechism to be exact. Yet I still felt like I was missing something. It was as though I was looking for answers to life and wasn’t quite finding them.
The way I was taught to live my life as a good Christian seemed both desirable and unattainable. I couldn’t see how the teachings applied to my everyday life. It was as though I invested time in prayer, reading the Bible, and attending church but to what end? In my eyes, my life remained the same to a certain extent. I still spoke the same and acted the same and thought in the same ways. Still, I found myself wanting to know more about this God who loved me to the point of dying for me.
I believed I loved Him in return though I felt like I didn’t quite understand Him or His ways. In my seeking, I started going to church more to find the answers to questions I couldn’t even articulate. It was compulsory to attend Sunday Mass in boarding school but I began to go to the optional mid-week mass as well. I would attend prayer meetings that were also optional. Whilst I enjoyed them, I still felt like something was amiss.
I also started to read my Bible more. I was reading Song of Songs on this particular evening. I’d read the book before and, like many, believed it to be about lovers. Song of Songs 3:1-4 (GNT) stood out for me and it goes:
Asleep on my bed, night after night
I dreamed of the one I love;
I was looking for him, but couldn't find him.
2 I went wandering through the city,
through its streets and alleys.
I looked for the one I love.
I looked, but couldn't find him.
3 The sentries patrolling the city saw me.
I asked them, “Have you found my lover?”
4 As soon as I left them, I found him.
I held him and wouldn't let him go
until I took him to my mother's house,
to the room where I was born.
I was delighted when I read this. It put into words how I felt in my seeking and questioning. I felt like I was searching high and low but couldn’t find what I sought. Not only that but, in my mind, it held a promise at the end that I would find this God that I sought. I would find these answers that I felt I needed. We were asked to share our favourite Bible verses and what they meant to us in our religious education class not long after that. I was so excited to share this passage and why I loved it.
Curiously, it was met with some discomfort, amusement, and a fair share of blank faces. No appreciative nods. No murmurs of agreement. No one adding their two cents on to what I’d just shared. I thought to myself, “Am I completely off-the-mark on this one?” I was still delighted nonetheless. I remember referring back to it again and again when I felt frustrated or discouraged in my seeking and questioning about life and God. In fact, I clung to it.
Remember that sermon I mentioned earlier? The only one I’ve ever heard based on Song of Songs. Well, that happened about 14 years later. To my pleasant surprise, not only did the minister preach on Song of Songs 3:1-4 but he echoed exactly what I thought and felt 14 years earlier. He said that what that woman described can be an analogy for the longing that we have for God because we were made for relationship with Him. He placed that yearning in our hearts. It also depicts the diligence and persistence with which we should seek Jesus.
The childhood home the woman brought her lover can be used as an analogy for our hearts. We should bring Jesus there and hold onto Him and never let Him go when we find Him, the operative word being “when”. It was such validation to hear that sermon because it meant I wasn’t off-the-mark all those years ago after all. I wondered where I would have gotten such a perspective from that was so spot on. That sermon sounded like it was preached from notes from my experience 14 years earlier. I couldn’t help but conclude that it must have been God.
I believe He answered my questions and seeking even though I wasn’t aware of it at the time. I didn’t recognise His answer for what it was until I heard the sermon. I had been saved a couple of years when I heard it. In my mind, it meant God was speaking to me even when I felt like I didn’t truly know or understand Him. He was present and responded to my seeking even when I couldn’t articulate my questions let alone recognise His response. His response still makes me glad to this day and is as relevant now as it was then. He is the one I sought and found, the one whom my heart loves.
iBloom for God 