Don’t worry about the realm of possibility when praying

I was listening to one of my favourite speakers talking about leadership this morning. He’s a very eloquent and intelligent man who I find quite inspiring. He spoke about how there are different seasons in life and what’s important is staying consistent through the seasons. To illustrate this, he mentioned how you could pray to whichever deity you believe in to change the temperature of the day and it won’t since the seasons are set. I was reminded of an experience I had several years ago when yours truly did, in fact, pray such a prayer.

It was early evening and I was on the train home from work. There was heavy rain pouring outside and the wind was whipping against the train windows. I was not looking forward to walking home from my stop. The walk was fairly short, about eight minutes, much less if I jogged. However, I would have been drenched by the time I got home. I decided to pray about it and asked God to make the rain stop falling! Honestly, I don’t know what I expected to happen. I figured one of several scenarios could happen. The first scenario was that the rain would actually stop. I didn’t think this was likely but I asked for it anyway. Why pray small, right?!

Secondly, I figured that if the rain didn’t stop entirely, then perhaps there could be a pause. I figured that this would have been just as effective as the rain ceasing completely. It didn’t have to be a long pause either. I just needed the rain to stop for an eight-minute window maximum 🙂 That would’ve been long enough for me to get home nice and dry. That failing, I hoped that at least the rain would subside. I would have been quite okay walking in the rain as long as I was dealing with a light shower. I got off the train and watched the rain as I waited for the answer to my prayer. To my dismay, the rain seemed to get worse. “Do I wait longer, Father God?”, I asked. Getting no discernible response, I decided to just walk home. I felt a little betrayed. I’d asked for less rain and got more!

Then it happened. The answer I never anticipated or asked for arrived. I’d just crossed the road next to the station when someone called out to me. It was Alison, a lovely lady I knew from church, and she offered me a lift home. She was headed home from a church meeting. I wondered, “Was this a regular church meeting? Did she normally take that route home after said meeting?” The answer was no to both. It was mere coincidence that she was where she was at that specific time. My mind was blown. I felt silly for feeling betrayed by God. He simply had orchestrated a response that I hadn’t asked for or anticipated. I arrived home fairly dry and very humbled.

As I remember this experience this morning, I feel both encouraged and challenged. This year, 2020, started heartbreakingly when I lost my dad in January. That has since been followed by other life storms such as the global spread of COVID-19, the lockdown resulting from it, personal challenges of finding my new normal, dealing with further loss within my family, and more. These life storms have seen me crying out to God asking Him to make the rain stop. In some situations, I see the rain subside. In others, I see temporary respite as though I were in the eye of the storm. Yet in some, I have seen the rain worsen.

I’m encouraged because this story is a reminder that God cares about my current life storms. In the same way that he showed concern about me not getting drenched in the rain that day, he is concerned about me not getting drenched in these life storms now. He always hears and responds even when I don’t perceive it. Sometimes I perceive His response as delayed or not what I asked for or both. I am challenged to continue trusting Him when what I see and experience is contrary to what I hope for. I am challenged to continue relating to Him as a good and loving Father in the rain just like I would when the skies are clear.

Love,

Dear Baba,

Thank you, Lord, for adopting me into your family. You found me when I was lost and you chose me for yourself. I have your DNA in me because you made me in your image. As part of your family, I am called by your name. You redeemed me at a high cost, gladly laying down your life for me so that I could be reconciled with you. I have a close relationship with you as a result. I am forever yours and you are mine. Not only did you make this possible, but you also revealed it to my heart. I have found my true identity and confidence in you. Because of you, I know what it means to belong, to be accepted, and to be loved perfectly.

Oh, your perfect love! You love me with a deep, unwavering, unshakeable, unconditional, fierce kind of love. I thought I knew what it was to love and be loved and then I met you. You are love personified. You are so kind, tender-hearted, patient, slow to anger, quick to forgive, and good to me. I can never exhaust your patience or your love. I can never drive you away with my shortcomings and mistakes. You are aware of every single one and yet you remain steadfast in your love. I enjoy exploring and discovering the depth and breadth and height and magnitude of your love.

You are a wonderful and good father. Whilst you do not condemn me for my sins and shortcomings, you do not ignore them either. You do not stand idly by and watch me take the foolish or wrong or dangerous paths in life. Instead, you watch diligently over me and lovingly correct me when I misstep. You reprimand me and teach me the right way to live my life. You empower me and provide me with everything that I need for each day. You provide me with what I need to live for and please you. I love that you invite me alongside you to be a part of what you’re doing in the world. When you called me, you called me for a purpose. You also abundantly provide me with everything that I need to fulfil that purpose.

Where do I find the words to thank and praise you for your provision? I have never met anyone as generous as you. Your heart is to bless and bless exceedingly. You never give in small or half measures. Whenever you give, you give a good measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. You provide for every aspect of my life and for every occasion. You inspire and enable me to be generous because you’re generous. You choose to bless others through me just as I am blessed through others. Thank you for your generosity. Thank you that you concern yourself with my needs.

Speaking of concern, I am blown away by how you who is mighty, sovereign, omnipresent, omnipotent God concerns himself with me. You call me precious and honour me because you love me. You sing songs over me. You have many thoughts about me, too numerous to count, and every single one of them is good. You make plans for my future, plans to prosper me and to give me purpose. You are for me and not against me. You’re always cheering me on and encouraging me. You are always with me. You are my father, my brother, my best friend, lover of my soul, my teacher, my counsel, my defender, my everything.

I am so grateful for you. I adore you. I honour you and praise your holy name. I praise you for who you are. I praise you for what you have done, what you are doing and what you will do. I praise you because you are worthy of all praise. I just wanted to write this letter to express how much I love and appreciate you. Thank you for loving me first. Thank you for giving me life. You make me glad and my heart sings with joy. You give me peace and hope every single day. You are my safe place, my home, my anchor, my stronghold. Ndinokunamatai Baba. Zita renyu ngarikudzwe, nazvino, narini.

Love,

An unexpected result of looking for opportunities for God to use me 

Sometimes, listening to Baba (God) can be exciting and delightful. By listening, I mean hearing and following through on what He places on your heart. At other times, it takes you down a path that may surprise or even shock you. It may lead you to do something you never imagined you would see yourself doing; something that may cause you to question yourself and perhaps even question Him. Did You really say this? This was one such time.

This was about eight or nine years ago. It was a school night and I was on my way home from work. It was early evening when I got off the train at my stop. I went through the subway and emerged on the other side, as usual, ready to start my short walk home. My evening took an unexpected turn then. There on the steps of the subway, on the other side, was a child sitting alone. Some people would walk past, pausing to look as they went. Others stopped and looked around for an accompanying adult, clearly disconcerted by what they were seeing and not sure what to do about it. They would eventually move on.

I got to the child and stopped. I too was unsure of what to do. I too lingered and looked around for a parent, a police officer, a security guard, anyone who would know what to do. See, the child was about 2 years old by my best guess, give or take, and could not talk yet. Talking to them and asking questions would not give me any answers. It was getting dark and I couldn’t hang around for long. I also could not, in good conscience, leave the child there. My phone battery was dying at this point. Phoning someone for help wasn’t an option. I didn’t know what to do. I just remember feeling deep concern for the child’s wellbeing and safety. At that moment, I decided to walk the child home with me. 

In my mind, I figured I might run into one of the police or security cars that sometimes patrolled the neighbourhood along the way and ask for help. That failing, I would get home and charge my phone then call someone. Either way, it would also give me a chance to figure out what to do whilst looking out for the child at the same time. By this point in time, it was abundantly clear that the child was unaccompanied. As I started to walk, my heart was pounding. I imagined the “child police” jumping at me out of nowhere and charging me with abduction. No one did. “Am I really doing this?” I asked myself. The questions and thoughts in my head were numerous. I was scared yet I felt confident that I was doing the right thing. 

A quiet inner voice reassured me that this course of action was the safest at that moment. That I was a safe bet for the child given the circumstances. Still, I asked myself, “What do I do next? I have work tomorrow. What if I have to look out for the child past tonight? What do I feed and clothe the child? Why am I even thinking about feeding and clothing the child?” It dawned on me that I didn’t know who to even call for help or how long they’d take to respond? Where would they take the child? What would the process be like? What would my involvement in the process be? I was already invested so I knew I wanted to be involved until it was resolved.

Then I thought, “What if someone is back at the train station and frantically looking for the child? Perhaps I should have stayed put at the station” On and on these thoughts went as I walked home with this child. Yet I felt I could trust God and that He was in control of the situation. I prayed and trusted that He had a plan. I walked very slowly, trying to match the child’s walking pace. I decided to carry the child at some point. Eventually, we got home. I was still scared and oddly calm at the same time. The child seemed calm, comfortable, and very trusting. At some point during my many prayers that evening, I felt like God was telling me to return to the train station before calling any authorities. It couldn’t have been long after we got home.

So I made the way back, again, questioning my actions and praying profusely. “See, perhaps I should have stayed at the station after all,” I thought. Then immediately thought it would be secluded and probably unsafe to hang around there by now. When I arrived at the station, the first person I noticed was a lady in a car. She saw me with the child, parked her car, and we got to talking. It turned out that she was from a church where the mother of this child went to. The mother was going through a desperate situation. The lady in the car was helping and mentoring her in her time of need. On this particular evening, she felt her desperation would endanger her child so she reached out to the lady in the car for help.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the lady in the car got stuck on the way to the station. Meanwhile, the mother felt that she had to flee her child for the child’s safety. The result was that the child was alone at a train station for some time. Whilst many things could be said about this situation, what stood out for me was how God moved in and directed the situation. He watched over that child affectionately and diligently as is His nature. Firstly, I love kids. I have a big heart for them. It’s in my nature to want to nurture and protect a child. That’s why I said earlier that I was a “safe bet” for the child.  I don’t think it was a coincidence that I met that child that day, at that time. I think it was part of God’s provision for the child.

I believe that God moved me to go out of my way to protect the child. I acted in a way that seemed odd even to me at the time. I think my actions were a reflection of and inspired by God’s heart for the child and perhaps for everyone involved. The lady in the car was distraught after getting stuck and not being able to reach a helpless child as quickly as she’d intended. She prayed for the child’s safety and future which suddenly seemed to be hanging in the balance that evening. Where would the child wind up if she didn’t arrive in good time? I believe God heard and answered her prayers. He made a way for that child to be safe, protected, and right where they needed to be at just the right time. It was also a lesson for me. 

If I allow Him, God involves me and lets me play a role in His plan. It’s not always exciting or fun. It may be scary or odd. It may test me. However, God knows my strengths, weaknesses, and capabilities. Above all, He has a plan for me and for others. If I trust Him and stay receptive, He can use me for the good that He is doing such as protecting and watching over a child in need. By choosing to respond to what I believed God was leading me to do, I got to see God’s goodness and provision in action first-hand: for the lady in the car, the child, and perhaps even the child’s mother. This experience surprised and blessed me. God is good even when life gets messy. I hope hearing this story blesses you too.

Love,

Commit to your mountain 

When I think about spending quality time with God, a hike I went on in mid-January of 2012 is top of mind. It was such a rich and beautiful experience which I often look back on and treasure. Have you ever had an experience that seems so ordinary and yet it impacts you in a significant way? That’s the case for me with this hike. Someone I’d spoken with over the Christmas holidays had pointed out how I live in such a beautiful place. They inspired me to get out into nature more often because I love nature, the outdoors, and hiking. It was a lovely Saturday in Cape Town so I decided to do just that.

I was feeling like God was prompting me to take time and spend it with Him. I decided to head to Kirstenbosch Botanic Gardens to spend some quality time with God there. It’s a stunning, scenic, well-maintained, lush garden that I knew would provide a tranquil and safe space for that. After all, I feel closer to God in nature. I didn’t set out to hike though. It is generally not recommended to hike alone in South Africa for safety’s sake. I had actually never hiked alone. However, once I started walking around in the garden I couldn’t help myself. I felt drawn to climb a mountain for some reason so I hiked.

I would hike for some time then find a spot to sit with God awhile. What was meant to be a couple of hours of quiet time turned into a whole afternoon of walking and hiking along several trails in and connected to the garden. I conversed with God in my mind as I went along. The conversation was nothing profound. It was just a regular conversation like one someone might have with a friend. I could not see God yet I felt His presence so strongly that it felt tangible. It felt so natural and so real. I remember talking to God about how difficult it is to relate to Him sometimes as an incorporeal being. And so, to feel His presence that strongly following that was an affirming and direct response.

What surprised me the most was how much fun I had that day. It was as though I’d spent the afternoon with a really good friend. I walked for hours amongst the vast greenery and plant life. I took pictures of the beautiful landscape and marvelled at the splendour in the world around me as if I was seeing it for the first time. I guess I was seeing it with a fresh perspective. I washed my feet in the cool water of a stream I found and splashed some on my face. I delighted in the simplicity and the beauty of it all. A few times I felt scared of being alone with no one in sight. Yet I felt safe because I knew God was with me. At other times my brain would say, “You know this is weird, right?” Yet my soul felt loved, blessed, joyful, and filled up.

At times it was so still and quiet that I could hear the occasional rustling of leaves and creak of branches in the soft breeze. I could hear birds and insects in the thicket of trees and bushes. At some point, I could hear the gentle stream I left behind me. I imagined this was a glimpse of God’s original design. It was a design for an intimate, personal relationship with Him. It was a design for complete harmony with Him, with each other, and with nature. Everything was intended to be thriving, healthy, and pleasing. No struggling, no striving, no fear, and no death or decay. There wouldn’t be so much as a browning leaf in sight. We are meant to experience only joy, companionship, security, and wholeness. People and animals living in unity and peace side by side.

The next day, I heard a sermon that gave a deeper meaning to my desire to hike whilst spending time with God. It added another layer to my experience. It was a sermon by Brian Houston where he spoke about committing to your mountain. He spoke of how God is present not only at the beginning of something but also in the ending as well. He said that, often, seasons or phases in your life will come to an end in unexpected and abrupt ways and it’s difficult to see God’s hand in it but we should. Just because an era is over it doesn’t mean God’s done with you.

Brian also referred to Jeremiah 29:11 in the sermon saying it was spoken to a people facing an end to their dreams. Despite that, those people were told to carry on, plant gardens, marry, seek peace with their captors and continue trusting God. This struck a chord with me because since the year had begun, Jeremiah 29:11 had been on my heart. I was facing an end to some of my dreams. My life had changed in several unexpected ways, both good and not so good, over a short period. He ended off by using a mountain as an analogy saying we often face mountains in life but we need to commit to climbing the mountain because God remains faithful and will see us victorious in the end. It was like the previous day primed me to hear and be impacted by that message in a way that I might not have otherwise.

Love,