I was born again in 2010, but my journey really began years before that.

As far back as high school, I carried a deep sense that something was missing. I used to feel like I was searching for something and I was just not finding it. It wasn’t something I could grasp or easily explain, but it stayed with me—persistent and unrelenting. I felt like I was searching for something, yet I couldn’t quite grasp what it was.

Having grown up in a Christian home, I had seen my mum’s relationship with God. That inspired me to search for the same. I started going to church more and reading my Bible more. Deep down, I believed the missing link lay somewhere in those pages. And yet, I still couldn’t find it. One day, I came across a passage that perfectly captured what I was feeling:

All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. 
So I looked for him but did not find him...
- Song of Solomon 3:1-4 NIV

I was elated! This truly expressed the feeling I had been carrying. I was looking for something precious but it eluded me. I had been looking for the One my heart loves but, try as I might, I couldn’t find Him.

The Night Everything Changed

Years passed. More than a decade after high school, maybe 12 or 13 years, I was still searching. I remember I used to attend Bible studies, church services, read my Bible and pray. Yet, I always felt I was missing something. Then, one night in 2010, I attended a Bible study. I remember feeling frustrated and disengaged, thinking, “I’ve heard all this before.”

Nonetheless, I stayed and I paid attention. Suddenly, something clicked!! Words I had heard countless times before suddenly took on a deeper meaning. The message of Jesus—why He came into the world, what He did—suddenly made sense. It wasn’t just information anymore. It was revelation.

The best way I can describe it is like I had been wrestling with a math problem. I knew the answer but I didn’t know how to work it out, how to arrive at the answer. Then suddenly, understanding dawned. I got it! I finally comprehended! On the way home, I cried tears of joy. I kept saying to my friend, “I get it! Something has happened—I get it now!”

On Fire… Then Fading

After that encounter, life felt different. Brighter. Full of purpose. I was on fire for Jesus and it was awesome. A new world of possibilities opened up to me. The world seemed brighter. I saw many changes in me, big and small. I was changed and I knew it. It changed how I spoke to people, how I saw the world, how I felt and how I lived. I served, volunteered, attended courses, and immersed myself in church life. I was hungry for God and consumed everything I could.

However, after a few years, I began to notice a pattern emerge…

I would go through seasons of fire and passionate living for Christ. Then that would wane and I would experience lukewarmth and dryness where fire once was. Then, something would stir me again – a word from God, a time at home with my prayerful mum, a bad thing happening to me, or a great thing happening to me.

I would awaken as though from some kind of slumber. My faith would receive a new lease on life and I would be on fire again. Yet, the cycle would repeat. While I never lost my faith, I wasn’t fruitful or growing. I knew there had to be more.

A Sign I Couldn’t Ignore

Around 2024, about 14 years since I got born again, I found myself in the same cycle as before. I was like the church in Laodicea. I was painfully aware of my state, perhaps not the full extent, but I knew something had to give. I was miserable, and my life was beginning to reflect the years of internal struggle. One day, I was on my way to do something that I knew I shouldn’t be doing. It was not bringing me closer to God but creating distance.

I was riding in a car and we passed a familiar corner near my home. I had seen it countless times before. But this time was different. A Charis Bible College sign jumped out at me. I was surprised. “Has that always been there? How have I never noticed it?” I quickly took out my phone to take a picture. I remember saying a quick prayer that the traffic light would stay red long enough for me to do so. It did and I happily took the picture.

However, I went on with my day and soon forgot all about it. 

A Series of “Coincidences”

Not long after that, a friend asked me if I knew of a good Bible college. She was considering joining a Bible college to improve her faith and knowledge. So, I told her that I had recently seen one near my house. That something about it stood out to me. I also told her that I knew nothing about the college. So, I couldn’t recommend it one way or the other but it was worth looking into.

I sent her the picture I had and promised to also look into it. Then, I forgot about it again. This happened around mid-October 2024. The festive season came round and I visited my mum in Zimbabwe. We enjoyed watching faith programs together. One day, Andrew Wommack, one of the preachers we both enjoyed gave a teaching. At the end of the program, an advert came on. For Charis Bible College! That got my attention.

I had no idea that Andrew Wommack was the founder of the same college I had seen on that sign months earlier. I had yet another moment of thinking, “How come I had never seen this before?” I enjoyed watching Andrew’s sound teachings now and then but I had no idea up until that moment.

I shared with my mum how I had seen the Bible college in Johannesburg and how it had caught my interest. She encouraged me to reach out to them. This time, I didn’t miss the opportunity. I sent an email to Charis South Africa.

When God Confirms a Step

To our surprise, the very next day, Charis Bible College Zimbabwe reached out to my mum. I was in the garden and she came to me and asked, “Did you give that college my contact details?” “No. Why do you ask?” I responded. It turns out that they’d just invited her to an open day in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. We still don’t know how she got on their mailing list. Perhaps it’s because she’s a pastor who operates in the city. I figured it could only be God’s leading.

We registered and attended the open day on 24 January 2025. Even though we only made it to the evening session, it was powerful. The main speaker, Bongani Msibi, opened with a simple but profound statement:

“God brought you here tonight for a reason.”

I knew it was true, and when I later shared this with mummy, she said the same thing. That night, I decided I would enrol with Charis Bible College. And in March 2025, I did.

Not Perfect, But Purposeful

It has not been smooth sailing, but it has been full of God. After enrolling, I was on excited and on fire. Yet, due to both personal struggles and circumstances, it took nine months before I actually began my first lesson. I slipped back into familiar cycles.

As the year 2025 was drawing to a close, I asked God what I should focus on next. His response was gentle but clear—just one word: “Charis“. There was no condemnation in His voice. Just the love, patience, and guidance of a good and perfect Father.

My Father revealed to me that I rely on my feelings a lot, something He is now transforming. Not long after that, Andrew Wommack taught on the exact same thing. Through the teachings at Charis, I’ve begun to understand that my roots were not as deep as they needed to be. And so, I struggled in my walk with Christ. I wanted to operate in Jesus’ rest, but I was going about it the wrong way.

God is healing some deep-seated issues, such as feelings of unworthiness, people-pleasing and striving. He is changing how I see myself and others, not through effort, but through His work in me. I am rediscovering just how Faithful and True my Dad is.

See, the desire to attend a Bible college was planted in me when I first got saved. I wanted to grow in the Word and be effective in whatever God called me to do. Though I kept this desire in the back of my mind, Jesus never did.

He reminded me. 
He positioned me. 
He called me. 

And I have seen Him do some amazing things in the 1.5 months  I have been doing classes online.

I cannot wait to see and experience all He has for me. I am so excited for all that lies ahead!

Love,