joy

Managing Episodes of Anxiety

| Flo

Five tips from my personal experience

It came to my attention recently that there may be something going on with my credit record, potentially an incorrect entry or something. While I do not intend to get any credit, I do want a clean record. So, I am trying to rectify the issue, but to do that, I need more information first and that has been proving to be a challenge. Something as simple as getting my record has been like pulling teeth. I have tried a few times and hit a different snag each time.

This morning, after attempting once again to get the information I need and getting nowhere, I started to feel very frustrated. I thought, “Why is this happening!” Then a sense of dread started creeping in and before I knew it, I was feeling sick to my stomach. It wasn’t because of anything tangible, just a strong feeling of uncertainty and worry. I felt a sense of fear and my stomach was churning. I immediately recognised that feeling. I have suffered from anxiety in the past and I can tell when I am starting to get anxious. My mind goes into overdrive and left unchecked, can begin to create all kinds of not-so-good scenarios.

Now, we can agree that that’s not good. The Bible tells us that Jesus came to give us life and life in abundance (John 10:10). It is God’s heart that we should have peace and that “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). God has given us His Spirit (John 14:16) who is an advocate, a helper and a faithful companion in all things and at all times. Through His help, we can embody these qualities which are the fruits of the Spirit in our daily lives:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). 

When I started to feel anxious and I couldn’t shake it off, I began to reflect on some Biblical truths and found ways, in the moment, to apply them. God has given me victory over depression and anxiety, and has caused me to walk in freedom from anxiety. That’s a story for another day. For today, here are five things that helped me immediately:

1. Practice Gratitude

I was having a cup of tea as I was sending some emails about my issue when I became aware of just how good a cup of tea I had in my hand. “Thank you, Lord, for this delicious tea. It is amazing. Your provision is not lost on me.” It was a simple and effortless expression but I immediately felt so much better. It shifted my focus to God, His goodness, His provision and His presence. I couldn’t help but smile. I started to thank God for other things, delighting in finding reasons to do so. In my moment of frustration, as I was struggling to find words to pray about what was bothering me, I focused on God’s heart for me and His character. It made me more acutely aware that Jesus is with me all the time. He has me and whatever I am facing in the palm of his hands.

2. Worship and Praise

Worshiping God can be like a soothing balm to the soul. We were made to have companionship with God and to glorify Him. Praise and worship ushers in God’s presence and we were designed to enjoy being in God’s presence. When I sing unto God, I feel an unmatched sense of coming home – arriving at the place where I belong, where I find rest, where I am safe and my beloved Love is. God is our friend and our Father, and worshipping Him can not only calm us and draw us closer to Him, it shifts our perspective, what’s happening internally. It also has the power to shift what’s happening externally. God delights when we call out to Him and He responds (Psalm 18:6). It is what we’re meant to do, not remain silent or try to do it without God’s help. (Psalm 14:4, 1 Samuel 12:23, Luke 18:1).

3. Surrender all to God

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” – Psalm 55:22 NIV. God wants us to bring everything to Him, our joys and sorrows, our victories and our failures, our hopes and our dreams, our plans and lack thereof. He wants us to talk to him, to share what’s on my minds, to give to him what bothers us and then be convinced that once we do, He makes a provision and we do not need to worry anymore. This is seldom an easy thing, but I always say, “Just because it is difficult, it does not mean it cannot be done.” Moreover, God is kind enough to give us the strength to do the things we cannot do.

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."
2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT

4. Focus on What’s in Your Control

Quite often, when I feel anxious, it is because I feel a loss of control. Perhaps I want or expect things to turn out a certain way; I’ve made plans and preparations; I’ve put in the effort; I’ve done all that I can and beyond then… A big fat nothing. At times in life, it can feel like all your best efforts amount to naught and it can be unsatisfying or heart-breaking. I have learnt and am still learning to let go. It is helpful to have a sense of awareness of what God is calling me to carry, i.e., what I have the ability and grace [from God] to do. Anything more than that can steal my joy and peace. In the case of my credit record, I called, I sent emails, and I did all I could humanly do. I prayed as I did it and chose to trust God that He’d make a way. The scenarios running through my head were not real or helpful so I rejected them and waited to see what would happen, what God would do. What a turnaround that was for me! The rest of the day went better than I could have hoped.

5. Ask for Support

Last, but not least, we’re also designed to walk in fellowship, in community, in relationship with others. I believe in my heart that God saved and healed me from depression and anxiety, but I have also witnessed how the enemy will attempt to attach what I’ve been freed from back onto me. It was a part of my way of life for so long, so much so that it was like a part of my identity. Even as I write this, my heart goes out to the one reading or hearing this who is still struggling with depression and anxiety. My prayers are with you; I pray that Godspeed healing and freedom in whatever form He wills for you. 

With that in mind, I asked a couple of close and trusted friends and family to pray with me. This was especially helpful because, at first, for some reason, I was struggling to pray. Yet prayer is important. Prayer draws me closer to God and unlocks His blessings. It is how I stand firm, hold onto my peace and step into what God has already granted me (Exodus 14:13 -14). Only after thanking God for many unrelated things, worshipping Him and trusting that those who love me including Jesus Himself were interceding on my behalf was I able to see past myself and prayer could flow from my heart. Beloved, hold on to God and to your faith. When you struggle with that, reach out to your community, reach out to Jesus and ask for help. 

Love,

Lessons from a Broken Canister: Living in a broken world under God’s rule

| Flo

I felt the slip and heard the crash almost simultaneously. Glass shattered and fell on the counter before me. Some fell on the floor at my feet. My tea canister smashed on an ordinary day in May of 2022. I’d gone to put it back in its place a little too quickly. It slipped from my hand and crashed on the kitchen counter. Annoyance and sorrow rose up in me. Annoyance because I felt like I could have been more careful with it. Sorrow because I liked my tea canister and now it was gone, shattered, one more thing in a string of things I’d lost lately. 

Turning over the canister, I assessed the damage. My tea bags were still intact and unspoiled, thank God! I do love my tea… and coffee. Part of the bottom of the tea canister was obliterated. The rest of the canister was surprisingly still in good shape. Annoyance and sorrow. To me, that seemed like a very strong emotional response to a broken tea canister. A little disappointment perhaps but sorrow?! Frustration?! Why was I grieving like this over a tea canister? Then, I realised it was because I’d lost a lot lately and began to recount the losses that made me feel sad.

I lost a set of face masks that I loved. They were soft, slick, fashionable and most importantly, breathable. They fell out of my bag, unnoticed. A comfortable pillow that contoured my face just the way I like got lost during a recent relocation. An old notebook that contained vital information I needed got taken out with the trash because I threw it away before I realized what was in it. As I considered these losses, I thought to myself, yes, they were losses for sure, but did they warrant the strong emotional response I was experiencing?

It was then that it hit me! I was living in an internal reality where I felt like nothing in my life lasts. As I was cleaning the shattered glass, I caught myself telling myself, “Don’t be sad. This world is passing away anyway. That’s how it is.” What I saying to myself was that nothing lasts so I should not be surprised nor take it so hard when I lose something or face change. I also realized that this world view, this internal reality, was birthed out of painful and bigger losses – a job loss, the loss of a beloved daughter, the disappearance of financial security, the passing of my dear dad.

I’ve overcome the loss of friends, of love, of investments, of happiness. I’ve faced it with God and He has brought me through to the other side again and again, but I do not remain untouched. Each time I emerge, I’m not quite the same person as before. I’m stronger, richer, more grounded, and refined. Yet, unnoticed, this idea that nothing in my life lasts has taken root. The idea of losing one more person that I love or one more thing that I enjoy or value confronts me and threatens my joy and sense of security. 

But God…

Recently, during a time of prayer and fasting, I was reminded of God’s promise of restoration and protection (Psalm 34, Psalm 91). God promises to give beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3), joy for sorrow (Jeremiah 31:13) and to pay back all the years (Joel 2:25-27) that the locusts have eaten i.e. that hardships and misfortune have plundered His children. I remind myself of these promises and hold onto Him who loves me and made those promises out of love. It is not inaccurate to say that this world is passing away. If there is one guarantee that anyone has in this life, it is change. But we can hold onto His promises and unfailing love. He, alone, is unchanging and permanent.

I don’t have to worry about or grieve the impermanence of this world or walk around dreading when the next shoe will drop and neither do you. Change doesn’t have to be fear-inducing. We do not need to become morbid and worry about potential loss which is a natural part of life on Earth. As that old advertising adage goes, “But wait, there is more.” Jesus is the more. He is everlasting, ever-present, all-powerful, faithful and generous. 

God always fulfils his promises! I personally believe I shall see them come true and experience his blessing and goodness even in this passing world. The world may be fleeting but God is not! And in Christ, neither am I! His joy and peace and hope and love are everlasting. I hope to have a full life in this world but I do not hold onto it. I hold on to my Father and His promises and that’s enough for me. That certainly brought me comfort that morning when my tea canister broke.

Love,