motivation

Managing Episodes of Anxiety

| Flo

Five tips from my personal experience

It came to my attention recently that there may be something going on with my credit record, potentially an incorrect entry or something. While I do not intend to get any credit, I do want a clean record. So, I am trying to rectify the issue, but to do that, I need more information first and that has been proving to be a challenge. Something as simple as getting my record has been like pulling teeth. I have tried a few times and hit a different snag each time.

This morning, after attempting once again to get the information I need and getting nowhere, I started to feel very frustrated. I thought, “Why is this happening!” Then a sense of dread started creeping in and before I knew it, I was feeling sick to my stomach. It wasn’t because of anything tangible, just a strong feeling of uncertainty and worry. I felt a sense of fear and my stomach was churning. I immediately recognised that feeling. I have suffered from anxiety in the past and I can tell when I am starting to get anxious. My mind goes into overdrive and left unchecked, can begin to create all kinds of not-so-good scenarios.

Now, we can agree that that’s not good. The Bible tells us that Jesus came to give us life and life in abundance (John 10:10). It is God’s heart that we should have peace and that “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). God has given us His Spirit (John 14:16) who is an advocate, a helper and a faithful companion in all things and at all times. Through His help, we can embody these qualities which are the fruits of the Spirit in our daily lives:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). 

When I started to feel anxious and I couldn’t shake it off, I began to reflect on some Biblical truths and found ways, in the moment, to apply them. God has given me victory over depression and anxiety, and has caused me to walk in freedom from anxiety. That’s a story for another day. For today, here are five things that helped me immediately:

1. Practice Gratitude

I was having a cup of tea as I was sending some emails about my issue when I became aware of just how good a cup of tea I had in my hand. “Thank you, Lord, for this delicious tea. It is amazing. Your provision is not lost on me.” It was a simple and effortless expression but I immediately felt so much better. It shifted my focus to God, His goodness, His provision and His presence. I couldn’t help but smile. I started to thank God for other things, delighting in finding reasons to do so. In my moment of frustration, as I was struggling to find words to pray about what was bothering me, I focused on God’s heart for me and His character. It made me more acutely aware that Jesus is with me all the time. He has me and whatever I am facing in the palm of his hands.

2. Worship and Praise

Worshiping God can be like a soothing balm to the soul. We were made to have companionship with God and to glorify Him. Praise and worship ushers in God’s presence and we were designed to enjoy being in God’s presence. When I sing unto God, I feel an unmatched sense of coming home – arriving at the place where I belong, where I find rest, where I am safe and my beloved Love is. God is our friend and our Father, and worshipping Him can not only calm us and draw us closer to Him, it shifts our perspective, what’s happening internally. It also has the power to shift what’s happening externally. God delights when we call out to Him and He responds (Psalm 18:6). It is what we’re meant to do, not remain silent or try to do it without God’s help. (Psalm 14:4, 1 Samuel 12:23, Luke 18:1).

3. Surrender all to God

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” – Psalm 55:22 NIV. God wants us to bring everything to Him, our joys and sorrows, our victories and our failures, our hopes and our dreams, our plans and lack thereof. He wants us to talk to him, to share what’s on my minds, to give to him what bothers us and then be convinced that once we do, He makes a provision and we do not need to worry anymore. This is seldom an easy thing, but I always say, “Just because it is difficult, it does not mean it cannot be done.” Moreover, God is kind enough to give us the strength to do the things we cannot do.

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."
2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT

4. Focus on What’s in Your Control

Quite often, when I feel anxious, it is because I feel a loss of control. Perhaps I want or expect things to turn out a certain way; I’ve made plans and preparations; I’ve put in the effort; I’ve done all that I can and beyond then… A big fat nothing. At times in life, it can feel like all your best efforts amount to naught and it can be unsatisfying or heart-breaking. I have learnt and am still learning to let go. It is helpful to have a sense of awareness of what God is calling me to carry, i.e., what I have the ability and grace [from God] to do. Anything more than that can steal my joy and peace. In the case of my credit record, I called, I sent emails, and I did all I could humanly do. I prayed as I did it and chose to trust God that He’d make a way. The scenarios running through my head were not real or helpful so I rejected them and waited to see what would happen, what God would do. What a turnaround that was for me! The rest of the day went better than I could have hoped.

5. Ask for Support

Last, but not least, we’re also designed to walk in fellowship, in community, in relationship with others. I believe in my heart that God saved and healed me from depression and anxiety, but I have also witnessed how the enemy will attempt to attach what I’ve been freed from back onto me. It was a part of my way of life for so long, so much so that it was like a part of my identity. Even as I write this, my heart goes out to the one reading or hearing this who is still struggling with depression and anxiety. My prayers are with you; I pray that Godspeed healing and freedom in whatever form He wills for you. 

With that in mind, I asked a couple of close and trusted friends and family to pray with me. This was especially helpful because, at first, for some reason, I was struggling to pray. Yet prayer is important. Prayer draws me closer to God and unlocks His blessings. It is how I stand firm, hold onto my peace and step into what God has already granted me (Exodus 14:13 -14). Only after thanking God for many unrelated things, worshipping Him and trusting that those who love me including Jesus Himself were interceding on my behalf was I able to see past myself and prayer could flow from my heart. Beloved, hold on to God and to your faith. When you struggle with that, reach out to your community, reach out to Jesus and ask for help. 

Love,

The Art of Waiting on God

| Flo

Waiting for anything has become a lost art in this modern world that we live in today. What with the advent of cell phones that enable you, in a matter of seconds, to talk to someone across the globe, jets that can take one to distant continents in hours and microwaveable instant meals. The need for waiting has dimmed.

I have noticed that even for Christians, the idea of waiting on God for answers has become something outdated. We want to approach God like an ATM machine, punch a few buttons (mumble a few words in prayer), out pops our answer and off we go to run errands that we deem more important than sitting at the Lord’s feet and hearing what He has to say to us.

Back home in Zimbabwe, the shortage of basic commodities taught us the art of waiting in long queues to get what we need e.g., salt, sugar, fuel etc. The amount of time and the patience you exercise will depend on how much you value the thing you’re waiting for. In the same way, waiting on God is about commitment and the value we put on what we are waiting for. 

It’s also about fellowship, relationship and trust. Waiting is not a waste of precious time nor is it idleness. It’s a show of trust. What you are saying as you wait is that I have made my requests known to my Heavenly Father, and now, in expectancy, I’m waiting for an answer. It’s being fully persuaded that God will come through for us, no matter how long it takes. As we wait, we do not complain, grumble or murmur. We offer the sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving for that which we are fully persuaded that God is preparing for us. 

Genesis 8:22 talks of seedtime and harvest time. After planting a seed, there is time that lapses before a harvest. We do not plant in the morning and expect to harvest in the evening. It would look ridiculous for a gardener to plant kale seedlings in the morning then in the evening, place a pot on the stove and head to the garden to harvest the kale for a meal. Yet, at times, this absurdity is reflected in how we pray as children of God. We are impatient for answers and expect them in timing that suits us.

At times, our answers come and the angels do not find us at our posts waiting on God for the answers. We are like a man who goes to draw money at the ATM, places his card in the machine, punches the buttons then walks away in frustration because there has been some delay in the cash coming out. Waiting on God is something we learn as we mature in Him. In this regard, we have an advantage and that advantage is the Holy Spirit, our resident tutor. He teaches us how to pray and imparts the patience to wait on God for the answer.

I have had many chances to learn waiting on the Lord as I have matured in my walk with the Lord. I have prayed for many issues concerning my family or myself. After prayer, I sense a peace in my heart or actually sense that God is saying, “It is done.” However, the physical evidence does not become tangible there and then. I have learnt not to petition God again and again about the same issue but to continue in thanksgiving for the answer until it manifests.

In conclusion, I just want to point out that our God us all-wise and all -knowing. He understands emergencies. There are some one-word or one-sentence prayers we send to God in cases of dire emergency and He responds immediately. For example, in Nehemiah 2:4, while Nehemiah was standing before King Artaxerxes and was asked what he wanted, he sent a quick prayer of guidance to God and was rewarded with an instant answer. Walk in the Spirit and He will be your guide in all you do.

about the author

Esnath Boora – A humble and loving woman of God. Bible-believing pastor. Mother of four. Spiritual mother to many.

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Stillness

| Flo

Of mind, heart and soul.

My best friend and I had a call and, true to form, it was a long call. We spoke for a good two hours. The call was just what I needed. I had had a particularly challenging week on so many fronts which resulted in reflection and asking myself some really hard life questions. I needed someone to talk to about and potentially help me navigate the head space I found myself in. I’m very blessed to have friends and family with whom I can speak freely.

What did I need to talk about? Well, what do you do when you find yourself in a space where you’re not happy with where you are in life or the trajectory that you are on. The short and obvious answer is change it. It’s never too late to pivot, to change your life and start investing in yourself and in the future you dream of. It’s never too late rebuild. I have been on this journey for a little while now and have invested a lot time and energy on rebuilding and pivoting.

I have prayed many times and asked God for guidance and help. I believe I’ve seen and heard God respond in several ways, some of them surprising, some of them challenging, most of them exciting. Many of them are promises; they have not yet come to pass. I’ve attended masterclasses and watched more webinars than I care to count. I’ve started to read again, something that had fallen on the back burner in the busyness of adulting as did my writing. I have done a lot of introspecting. I have tried as best as I could to implement what I’ve learnt.

As long as there is breath in my body, I am resolved to do the work I need to do to become a better version of me and live the life I believe I am called to live. The challenge though is that it is not always clear what that looks like and, or how to get there. It can also be very difficult and demoralising when you do not see the results for your efforts yet. It’s very easy to start feeling or operating like that fly at the window bashing it’s body against it in a bid to get outside not knowing that that’s a fruitless path.

So there I was, pouring my heart out to Bestie. I expected we were going to breakout the pen and paper at some point and systematically rework ‘the plan’ as it were. Instead, she said something I did not anticipate. She encouraged me to find a space, physical or otherwise, where I can be still and in a state of surrender.

In that space I should sit with God and leave room for Him to be God. Like that fly against the window, it may be that I am bashing myself on a path that is not for me. Meanwhile, God wants to show me an open window I can fly through and soar.

On the other hand, perhaps the fly analogy does not apply to me and I need to keep pushing forward in faith – on a side note, why am I even using a fly analogy? I find them repulsive, but anyway, I digress. Either way, the best thing I can do is to still myself, still my soul and wait on God. This reminded me of a sermon I heard some years ago about waiting on God. The preacher described how waiting on God cleaves you to Him. That is, you stick closely and are glued to Him. He went onto to add that cleaving to God makes you stronger and provides you with the best support to rise, to grow.

He gave an example of a climbing vine growing against a wall or structure. Without the support, this vine cannot rise or grow well. However, once it has grown on and intertwined with a structure, it is stronger and cannot be easily torn down. That sermon really spoke to me at the time and I recalled it as Bestie spoke. Her words resonated with me even more as a result. I was focused on what I needed to do, when I needed to do it and how I was going to do it. These are not negative things to keep in mind; however, it all was starting to feel a bit too much for me.

I was feeling discouraged and overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff I wanted and needed to accomplish. Quite frankly, I was starting to look for an escape. Well, I may have found one. I’m looking forward to finding a serene and beautiful space to sit and visit with God. I’m anticipating stillness of mind where I surrender the myriad of thoughts and plans and questions running through my head. I am looking forward to the stillness in my soul, nothing weighing on me. My heart shall be still as I seek God and what He has in store on the other side of this season. Even now, I feel the peace of God flooding in.

Love,

Cheesecake and dreams

| Flo

You will enjoy it and be blessed

Have you ever had a food craving so bad that you can almost taste the thing you’re craving? You see it in your mind’s eye? You practically taste in your mouth? I don’t know. Perhaps, it is just me. I get very specific food cravings sometimes, and worse, at times, it doesn’t go away until the craving is satisfied. That was me yesterday. I’m a sucker for a baked cheesecake on any given day but yesterday, as I lay in bed, I craved for a creamy, decadent, well-baked cheesecake that’s not too sweet or rich but just right.

Today, I decided to spoil myself to a slice. Off I went to a shop near me that sells good cheesecake. When I got there, there were two options, a blueberry cheesecake and what looked like a traditional cheesecake. My interest was in the blueberry cheesecake, however, an unexpected option presented itself – an indulgent-looking chocolate and hazelnut cake. That’s another thing about me. I always want to explore all options before making a choice. If you give me enough choices, trust that I’ll contemplate each one a fair amount.

The restaurant where I was buying the cheesecake is attached to a supermarket, and on weekends, they bring cake from the restaurant into the supermarket to entice shoppers with a discounted price. Instead of just standing there pondering whether I’d stick with the cheesecake or switch to the chocolate cake, I decided to go and buy some other items I needed whilst I was thinking. Sure enough, it didn’t take long for me to decide. It was the cheesecake that had my heart. So, I returned to the cake station ready to make my purchase. 

There was only one slice of the cheesecake left. It had my name on it. I had a date with that cake. In front of me was a man buying several slices of the runner-up chocolate cake. I waited patiently for my turn as he changed his mind about how many slices he wanted and the server complied. When he was done, he didn’t move away. I watched as, almost in slow motion, he gestured towards my cake! He was buying it! Well, I suppose I could have just a regular cheesecake, I figured. There he was again, gesturing towards that cake too!! 

At that point, I lost it. I couldn’t let him get away with my cheesecake.

“You’re buying them?” I asked. Before he could even respond, the lady behind the counter piped in, “You were here earlier when there were three slices. You should have jumped at the chance but you just had to take time to decide.” She wasn’t being unkind and I knew she was right. I couldn’t focus on her words though. I was determined to save my cake. “Don’t you want a slice of that other amazing cake over there?” I smilingly asked the man. He smiled back and said he didn’t. 

I was not deterred. “You know, I’ve been thinking about cheesecake since yesterday,” I tried again, “Don’t you wanna trade for that equally delicious-looking lemon cake?” This time he laughed and gave me a brotherly side-hug. “No, I’m sorry. I want the cheesecake.” I was in disbelief. Did that just happen?! I had just missed out on my cheesecake. “I didn’t want your hug, sir,” I thought to myself, “I wanted your cheesecake!” Luckily though, the lady behind the counter decided to help me out. She explained that because it was New Year’s eve, they hadn’t baked a lot of cheesecake, but, if there was any left in the restaurant, she’d sell it to me for the discounted price.

In the restaurant, they had milk tart cheesecake. I was disappointed. This isn’t the level of decadence I was looking for. If my memory was accurate, I’d had it before and it was a little too rich for my liking. I wanted a citrusy or zesty tang to my cheesecake. The thought of going for the chocolate cake was even less appealing. Yet another thing about me, once I set my mind on something, I don’t change it easily. I wanted cheesecake, so I decided to go with cheesecake even though it wasn’t the flavour I wanted. On the way home, I felt God comforting me. It began to melt my disappointment away.

All at once, I felt silly. There are bigger things going on in the world, and, here I was, overly invested in a cheesecake slice. In that moment, there was God again saying, “It is okay.” I could feel that familiar warmth of His love and presence that feels like the biggest hug enveloping me. I decided that if my Father in heaven cared that I was disappointed about a cheesecake and chose that moment to minister to my soul, I would take it and stop feeling silly. I did pray for my perspective to shift from just me and my immediate circumstances to Him and what He is doing.

“You will enjoy the cheesecake,” I heard God say, not once, but several times as He continued to minister to my soul. I had thought that I would have my cake later in the evening or even tomorrow because I didn’t my disappointment to spoil my enjoyment of it. However, He encouraged me to have it when I got home. Why? Because I would enjoy it, He said. Life and dreams are a little bit like the cheesecake, aren’t they? Sometimes, you want something so bad. You can see it. You can almost taste it. It has your name practically written on it. And then… You do not get it.

Perhaps, you take your eye off the ball. Perhaps, someone swoops in a little faster than you do. Perhaps, it was just not meant to be. However, God is too good, too generous, too kind and too much of a blesser to ever leave you empty handed. God is too sovereign and too much of a planner to leave things to chance. Even when you don’t get what you want, God will always give you what you need. Moreover, you will be blessed by it.

I did enjoy that cheesecake, guys, every bite of it. It was just the taste I had dreamed of yesterday and didn’t even realise it.

So, whether it’s something as small and mundane as cheesecake or something as big and life-changing as that dream job or life partner or child of your own, God knows it all. He knows about it, and He cares about it. He cares about you, and He walks with you every step of the way, guiding you even when you don’t realise it. He comforts you when you need it, and He fulfils that dream. Now, it may not always be fulfilled in the way that you wanted or hoped but God will fulfil it and you will be blessed. Just put your trust in Him!

Love,