A beautiful yet unexpected thing happened to me recently.
I was sitting in class at Bible college, listening to the final teaching for the day. While it was a great class, it wasn’t out of the ordinary as far as classes at the college go. They’re consistently rich and engaging.
Because I always walk away blessed after each teaching, I’m usually expectant when I listen to them. Yet, I didn’t anticipate what happened next…
As I was taking notes, I felt God gently drawing my attention. He prompted me to stop writing and simply pay attention. His “drawing my attention” feels like everything around me fading into the background, becoming ‘distant’ and less important as my awareness shifts.
Everything within becomes still and quiet – my thoughts, my emotions – as my focus automatically rests on something very specific. And so, that happened as I stopped writing. I thought the next thing(s) the speaker would say would jump out at me and perhaps become more meaningful and personal to me.
Instead, I felt something bubbling and rising up inside. It was the unmistakable, lavish, and deep love of God flooding me.
It’s hard to explain, but I’ll do my best. It felt like a warmth welling up within me and radiating outwards to my whole body, and a cool sensation resting on me externally – especially around my arms and skin. Yet it was so much more than just a sensation or feeling. It felt like pure love filling me up.
I could feel my heavenly Dad’s presence so strongly that tears filled my eyes, and I remember saying to Him, “I’m coming undone.” Yet, it wasn’t like I was unravelling – it felt like I was opening up. As I leaned into the moment and let it wash over me, God’s love and presence and joy soaked my soul. It felt like such an affirmation. Like being chosen. Like being seen.
It felt like being known more intimately than I can even fathom. It felt entirely new and yet so familiar.
Afterwards, I went back to my notes to look at what was being said when this happened. Had Jesus been drawing me to a specific message in the teaching? But I sensed God saying that it wasn’t about the lesson specifically. He was making His manifest presence known and blessing my heart simply because He wanted to. He just wanted to affirm me and pour out His love on me.
It was a beautiful expression of unfailing love for love’s sake alone.
Today, out of the blue, I found myself reflecting on the special bond between a grandparent and a grandchild – more specifically, a grandmother and granddaughter. Naturally, my thoughts turned to my Bestie, remembering her fondly. While the memory brought a tear or two to my eyes, it didn’t carry the same pain or guilt or condemnation I carried just four months ago.
When she passed, the pain of grief came, as it does. That’s natural. As a Christian, a woman whose confidence and faith are anchored in Christ and the life eternal He promises, I grieved with expectant hope. It wasn’t a crippling grief. But there was another kind of pain I carried, though – one that lingered for months.
I struggled with the fact that I wasn’t there to close her eyes when the time came.
I was nearly 900km away when then. Messages came in from my family with her: She is deteriorating rapidly; she is very sick. I began making plans to travel to her, and I prayed.
Then came another message – this time from God: Pray for healing.
I was surprised. She was almost 97, and to my understanding, people her age didn’t recover from stroke and serious illness. It seemed unlikely. Yet, I believed and I rejoiced. I prayed for healing as instructed and watched and waited to see what God would do.
He came through – she improved for some time.
But then, she declined again. The day before she passed, I called home. Something told me to ask my mum to place the phone next to her ear so I could speak to her. I didn’t. I figured it might strain her. I wasn’t even sure she could hear me. Little did I know that that was the last opportunity I’d have to speak with her.
The next day, the news of her transition to glory came.
That was about a week before I was set to travel home. Instead, I travelled that same day, my heart broken that I didn’t get to see her one last time, and she didn’t get to see me in her hour of need. That thought stayed with me for months – six, to be exact.
It brought guilt. Questions. I questioned whether I’d heard correctly from my Heavenly Dad. I questioned my ability to discern His voice. I even questioned the state of my heart. I replayed everything, over and over, trying to make sense of it all. I prayed for answers and none seemed to come. But I knew better.
I knew Who to turn to and why. I didn’t lose faith, although I did not feel as secure in it as before. I kept going to church. I kept reading my Bible. I kept praying through the difficulty. I chose to hold on to God, knowing He’s dependable and makes no mistakes. I even continued to I believe what I heard Him say. I told myself, “Healing comes in many forms.” Yet, at times, my mind would wage war against me as I reflected on the whole matter.
But God…
God proved stronger than every thought, every doubt, every ache I carried. He is still in the business of binding up the broken-hearted and comforting those who weep (Isaiah 61:1 NKJV). He still brings back to life that which is dead; He still mends that which is broken (Psalm 147:3 NIV). In my life, God has taught me – and He’s taught me well – that He is the answer.
Jesus is the answer to it all.
He’s the One. He alone is my inheritance, my portion. He is my defence, my fortress, my stronghold. In Him, I find everything I need. He provides what I don’t know how to ask for, and what I don’t even yet realize I need. He is my treasure, my source. He is my answer to every question, every need, every situation.
And so, I cried out to the Lord, and He heard me! It wasn’t a one-time moment this time, although in the past, it has been. I returned to the throne of my King again and again, weeping at His feet. In my mind, I knew for a fact that I carried no guilt. Yet my heart needed the touch of my Master Physician, Jehovah Rapha. And He met me there!
Sometime in December, during church service, I cried one last time. And in that moment, I just knew – I was leaving it all at the altar. I walked out feeling renewed and refreshed. The thing which had held this power over me lost all its power. I was smiling again, deep, genuine joy radiating from within. I once again felt the lightness of being and freedom that only Christ can bring.
Truth be known, God had been offering that peace and freedom all along. Until the end of time, that offer remains!
It’s yours and mine for the taking. I encourage you, if you need it, reach out and receive it. If something stands in your way – guilt or condemnation or regret or erroneous thinking – keep crying out to the Lord. His mercy is great. He will surely answer your call:
For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! Matthew 7: 8-11 NKJV
When I meet people from the same family, I enjoy observing both the similarities and the differences between them. I suppose I was socialised that way. Growing up, I spent a fair amount of time accompanying my parents. Whenever I was with my mum and we met someone new, they would often say, “You look so much alike.”
Then they’d meet my dad and quickly change their minds. “Oh, no. I was mistaken. You definitely look like your dad,” they’d say. It happened so often that my standard response to anyone who said I resembled my mum became, “Wait till you see Daddy.”
The other day, in that same spirit, I found myself delighting in noticing the similarities between my heavenly Father and me. Just for fun, I began to count the ways I resemble Him – not in the usual “spiritual” sense, but in literal, everyday expressions. I was delighted to quickly find three.
1. A Love for Gardening
I love to garden. It’s a passion I never imagined I’d have. It seemed to develop out of nowhere. I grew some corn when I was 12, but that was about it. After that, I managed to kill everything I tried to grow including mint and cacti! I concluded I didn’t have green fingers and stopped trying.
Then, in 2014, a friend gifted me an arum lily. I did everything I could to keep it alive and, to my pleasant surprise, it flourished under my care. That small success made me reconsider my earlier conclusion, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Incidentally, my Dad is also a gardener:
The LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed. - Genesis 2:8 NKJV
Beyond speaking the myriad of plants, trees and flowers into being, we hear that God literally planted a garden in Eden before placing Adam there. Jesus also refers to our Father as a Gardner in John 15:1, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.”
So, when I tend to my plants – planting, nurturing, watching things grow – I am, in a very real sense, being just like my Dad. That thought brings me such joy and satisfaction; it makes me enjoy gardening even more. God honours me in my gardening too. Not only does He bless the work of my hands, He gave me a vision of a garden, a gift purely for my enjoyment.
2. The Joy of Cooking
Cooking is my happy place. I love every part of the process: selecting fresh, quality ingredients; deciding what to create; choosing the right cooking method(s); then marrying the ingredients to form something each ingredient could never have dreamed of becoming on its own.
What’s more, cooking is about nourishing and providing sustenance in addition to bringing people together. That certainly reflects God’s nature and ways. However, I wanted to focus on a literal example.
So, I present to you, Jesus braaiing (barbecuing) at the beach:
Then, as soon as they had come to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and fish laid on it, and bread. - John 21:9 NKJV
I am convinced that Jesus is an excellent cook. Being fully God – all-knowing, attentive, intentional and all-wise – how could He not be?! When He invited the disciples, “Come and eat breakfast,” they weren’t surprised that He’d prepared a meal. His presence astonished them, understandably, but not His cooking.
And what about Elijah being fed by the angel of the Lord (1 Kings 19:5-8)? Perhaps God preparing a table before us is not limited to a symbolic sense. What if culinary arts have a place in heaven? I’m persuaded cooking is heavenly. And when I prepare meals, nourish others, and use food as a blessing, I am being just like my Dad.
One example is when God made some leather outfits for Adam and Eve:
Also for Adam and his wife the LORD God made tunics of skin, and clothed them. - Genesis 3:21 NKJV
God made garments. He clothed them. That’s sewing! And His craftsmanship? Unmatched. Just consider the detailed instructions He gave for the priestly garments in Exodus 28 – 31! Astounding in their precision, uniqueness and beauty. And when I sew, I reflect that same creative impulse, however small my expression may be.
That is the cloth from which I am cut. I am deeply blessed and endlessly delighted to know this.
This morning, I was feeling the weight of the past on me. Things said and done. Things that happened. They replayed in my mind and they felt heavy. Then, I felt my heavenly Dad say, “Call on me.” So, I did and I instinctively turned to Matthew 11:28-30 to encourage myself in the Word. There, Jesus says:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
I love my Dad’s revelations. They’re always so timely, so spot on. I’ve read that passage many times before, but today, I thought, “But what is the purpose of a yoke?” So, I looked it up and discovered that a yoke is used so animals can pull loads together more efficiently.
Wow! So, Christ is saying to you and me, “Yoke yourself to Me and let’s deal with your heavy burdens efficiently together!” He is saying surrender to Me. Be reliant on Me. Cling to Me. And you will find rest.
This is consistent with God’s heart and design for us. A yoke is metaphorically used to describe the joining or linking of things or people (as in marriage or a contract much like our covenantal relationship with God). We were created to glorify Him and have relationship with Him. We were never meant to carry anything alone but partner with Him in surrender.
So, if you’re feeling heavy laden, chances are you’re trying to carry a load alone. In the verses preceding this passage, Jesus spoke about the truth being hidden from those who are wise and learned. He said the truth is revealed to little children i.e. to those who are like trusting dependants (Matthew 11:25-26). Elsewhere, Jesus said the kingdom belongs to those who are like little children (Luke 18:16)
So, when your trust and confidence is in God, and you call on him again and again, the kingdom belongs to you!
In the passage, another thing Jesus is saying is, “Learn from Me”. A yoke is used to instruct (showing one what to do and not do) and direct (showing one where to go and where not to go). Unlike the typical yoke, Jesus assures you that His yoke is easy because He guides and instructs you with a gentle hand and humble heart. That is His character. He also assures you that His burden is light. That’s because He gives you Grace, the supernatural ability to carry it. You cast your burdens on Him because He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7. What a lovely picture. What an amazing God and Father!
So, let’s get and stay yoked, folks.
If ever you find yourself feeling tired or carrying the weight of something, make that call. Call on Jesus. Let Him show you the way. Allow Him to lighten your burden.
I was born again in 2010, but my journey really began years before that.
As far back as high school, I carried a deep sense that something was missing. I used to feel like I was searching for something and I was just not finding it. It wasn’t something I could grasp or easily explain, but it stayed with me—persistent and unrelenting. I felt like I was searching for something, yet I couldn’t quite grasp what it was.
Having grown up in a Christian home, I had seen my mum’s relationship with God. That inspired me to search for the same. I started going to church more and reading my Bible more. Deep down, I believed the missing link lay somewhere in those pages. And yet, I still couldn’t find it. One day, I came across a passage that perfectly captured what I was feeling:
All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him... - Song of Solomon 3:1-4 NIV
I was elated! This truly expressed the feeling I had been carrying. I was looking for something precious but it eluded me. I had been looking for the One my heart loves but, try as I might, I couldn’t find Him.
The Night Everything Changed
Years passed. More than a decade after high school, maybe 12 or 13 years, I was still searching. I remember I used to attend Bible studies, church services, read my Bible and pray. Yet, I always felt I was missing something. Then, one night in 2010, I attended a Bible study. I remember feeling frustrated and disengaged, thinking, “I’ve heard all this before.”
Nonetheless, I stayed and I paid attention. Suddenly, something clicked!! Words I had heard countless times before suddenly took on a deeper meaning. The message of Jesus—why He came into the world, what He did—suddenly made sense. It wasn’t just information anymore. It was revelation.
The best way I can describe it is like I had been wrestling with a math problem. I knew the answer but I didn’t know how to work it out, how to arrive at the answer. Then suddenly, understanding dawned. I got it! I finally comprehended! On the way home, I cried tears of joy. I kept saying to my friend, “I get it! Something has happened—I get it now!”
On Fire… Then Fading
After that encounter, life felt different. Brighter. Full of purpose. I was on fire for Jesus and it was awesome. A new world of possibilities opened up to me. The world seemed brighter. I saw many changes in me, big and small. I was changed and I knew it. It changed how I spoke to people, how I saw the world, how I felt and how I lived. I served, volunteered, attended courses, and immersed myself in church life. I was hungry for God and consumed everything I could.
However, after a few years, I began to notice a pattern emerge…
I would go through seasons of fire and passionate living for Christ. Then that would wane and I would experience lukewarmth and dryness where fire once was. Then, something would stir me again – a word from God, a time at home with my prayerful mum, a bad thing happening to me, or a great thing happening to me.
I would awaken as though from some kind of slumber. My faith would receive a new lease on life and I would be on fire again. Yet, the cycle would repeat. While I never lost my faith, I wasn’t fruitful or growing. I knew there had to be more.
A Sign I Couldn’t Ignore
Around 2024, about 14 years since I got born again, I found myself in the same cycle as before. I was like the church in Laodicea. I was painfully aware of my state, perhaps not the full extent, but I knew something had to give. I was miserable, and my life was beginning to reflect the years of internal struggle. One day, I was on my way to do something that I knew I shouldn’t be doing. It was not bringing me closer to God but creating distance.
I was riding in a car and we passed a familiar corner near my home. I had seen it countless times before. But this time was different. A Charis Bible College sign jumped out at me. I was surprised. “Has that always been there? How have I never noticed it?” I quickly took out my phone to take a picture. I remember saying a quick prayer that the traffic light would stay red long enough for me to do so. It did and I happily took the picture.
However, I went on with my day and soon forgot all about it.
A Series of “Coincidences”
Not long after that, a friend asked me if I knew of a good Bible college. She was considering joining a Bible college to improve her faith and knowledge. So, I told her that I had recently seen one near my house. That something about it stood out to me. I also told her that I knew nothing about the college. So, I couldn’t recommend it one way or the other but it was worth looking into.
I sent her the picture I had and promised to also look into it. Then, I forgot about it again. This happened around mid-October 2024. The festive season came round and I visited my mum in Zimbabwe. We enjoyed watching faith programs together. One day, Andrew Wommack, one of the preachers we both enjoyed gave a teaching. At the end of the program, an advert came on. For Charis Bible College! That got my attention.
I had no idea that Andrew Wommack was the founder of the same college I had seen on that sign months earlier. I had yet another moment of thinking, “How come I had never seen this before?” I enjoyed watching Andrew’s sound teachings now and then but I had no idea up until that moment.
I shared with my mum how I had seen the Bible college in Johannesburg and how it had caught my interest. She encouraged me to reach out to them. This time, I didn’t miss the opportunity. I sent an email to Charis South Africa.
When God Confirms a Step
To our surprise, the very next day, Charis Bible College Zimbabwe reached out to my mum. I was in the garden and she came to me and asked, “Did you give that college my contact details?” “No. Why do you ask?” I responded. It turns out that they’d just invited her to an open day in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. We still don’t know how she got on their mailing list. Perhaps it’s because she’s a pastor who operates in the city. I figured it could only be God’s leading.
We registered and attended the open day on 24 January 2025. Even though we only made it to the evening session, it was powerful. The main speaker, Bongani Msibi, opened with a simple but profound statement:
“God brought you here tonight for a reason.”
I knew it was true, and when I later shared this with mummy, she said the same thing. That night, I decided I would enrol with Charis Bible College. And in March 2025, I did.
Not Perfect, But Purposeful
It has not been smooth sailing, but it has been full of God. After enrolling, I was on excited and on fire. Yet, due to both personal struggles and circumstances, it took nine months before I actually began my first lesson. I slipped back into familiar cycles.
As the year 2025 was drawing to a close, I asked God what I should focus on next. His response was gentle but clear—just one word: “Charis“. There was no condemnation in His voice. Just the love, patience, and guidance of a good and perfect Father.
My Father revealed to me that I rely on my feelings a lot, something He is now transforming. Not long after that, Andrew Wommack taught on the exact same thing. Through the teachings at Charis, I’ve begun to understand that my roots were not as deep as they needed to be. And so, I struggled in my walk with Christ. I wanted to operate in Jesus’ rest, but I was going about it the wrong way.
God is healing some deep-seated issues, such as feelings of unworthiness, people-pleasing and striving. He is changing how I see myself and others, not through effort, but through His work in me. I am rediscovering just how Faithful and True my Dad is.
See, the desire to attend a Bible college was planted in me when I first got saved. I wanted to grow in the Word and be effective in whatever God called me to do. Though I kept this desire in the back of my mind, Jesus never did.
He reminded me. He positioned me. He called me.
And I have seen Him do some amazing things in the 1.5 months I have been doing classes online.
I cannot wait to see and experience all He has for me. I am so excited for all that lies ahead!
A Picture from My Dad, the Greatest Artist of All Time
I was walking home, enjoying some much-needed quality time with my heavenly Dad. We’d walked to the shops together because I needed a few things, and I decided to turn the errand into intentional connection time. Now, I was on my way back.
On the way there, we talked about nothing in particular, and yet, we talked about everything. About half-way, I passed a couple of ladies selling metal wares by the road side, a familiar and permanent fixture on that stretch. God prompted me to pray for them – their protection, their business, their salvation.
On the journey back, I noticed their kids had joined them. God prompted me to pray again, including their children. That simple act of obedience would later turn into a ministry moment – but that’s a story for another time.
As I was nearing home, I saw a striking image. It was one of those moments you wish you had a top-of-the-range camera on hand and the skill to match. But I had intentionally left my phone at home and couldn’t capture the moment. So instead, I took a mental picture. Sometimes this is better because you can really immerse yourself in the moment when you’re not looking at it through a lens (I’m certain there’s a deeper life lesson in that as well).
Here’s what I saw:
It was twilight, with the sun dipping just below the horizon. The road I was walking on ascended to the crest of a small hill before disappearing beyond view. At the top of the hill, a young man of athletic build appeared on the right side of the road, and began descending. Behind him was a breathtaking sunset with layers of red, orange and amber hues blending into one another, rising to meet a slowly darkening sky.
As he walked down, he playfully tossed something in the air and lifted his right arm to catch it. It looked like a victory pose, a fist raised in joyful triumph. Framing him, on either side was nature – trees, flowers, shrubs, grass – juxtaposed against the concrete urban setting. Rising up, tall and proud, on his left, was a tall metal tower. All of it was silhouetted by the fading light.
The whole view looked like art work. Like a staged photo. Like a gift.
I spontaneously started thanking my Dad. It was so beautiful, so intentional. It felt like it was painted just for me, for my pleasure. I couldn’t see anyone else in sight, just me and this man on a hill. Just as I was delighting in the sight, a car appeared at the top of the hill. Its bright headlights penetrated the deepening dusk, accentuating the scene, adding another layer of contrast and depth to the beautiful synergy of man, man-made structures and nature.
My heart was full as I continued to appreciate what I had seen. I prayed, “You did that, Dad! I see it. Thank you so much. It is blessing me.” I named my picture “Man On A Hill”. That was not the end of it. When God blesses, He blesses abundantly, a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over (Luke 6:38).
As I was nearing home, I saw another view. The same sunset but from a new angle. The same amber, orange and red hues were rising to an oddly bright sky this time, almost as though daylight was not quite ready to depart just yet. I remember thinking, “It’s as if the sun is saying even in darkness, when you cannot see me, I’ll always be bright, bringing light, just like the Son.”
I thanked God for that image and that amazing message as well. To me, He had painted two beautiful pictures simple for my enjoyment. Just because… What a delight they were!
Growing up, we had a house keeper with whom I shared a surprisingly close bond. I was a teenager then, and despite the difference in our circumstances, we had so much in common. had many things in common. She was more like a friend than an employee. She was funny, kind, and genuinely enjoyed my company. I, too, loved spending time with her. We had long conversations, shared laughs, and occasionally went on little outings together.
At some point, she started cryptically saying, “Days are coming.” When I’d ask what she meant, she would just smile. There was a palpable level of excitement and anticipation when she said it, a knowing look on her face. One day, she resigned and left. A guy had swept her off her feet. I believe they got married and relocated. Although I missed her and felt a little upset that she left without a proper goodbye, I couldn’t begrudge her her happiness.
The weird saying finally made sense, days are coming. She was on a countdown to a life-changing event, and she just couldn’t wait. I’m sure it marked the beginning of an exciting and new life.
That phrase came back to me today as I was reading my Bible.
Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. – Ephesians 5:1 – 2 NIV
As I reflected on this verse, something struck me again: everything God calls me to do is something He has already done. He leads by example. Not only that, He gives me the grace to do it too. As Christians, we are imitators of Christ. When God calls us to love, forgive, give, and pray, He is not asking us to do anything foreign to His own nature.
God loves to bless. In Philippians 4:19 (NLT), it says, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” And Romans 8:32 (NLT) tells us, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?”
Second, Christ is generous. We’re told to give, and the gift will be return to us – a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into our laps (Luke 6:38). God is also slow to anger and quick to forgive (Psalm 145:8 NIV) and he calls us to completely forgive those who wrong us (Matthew 18:21-22).
Even prayer—something He urges us to practice—is something He models. Jesus is an intercessor himself. He often withdrew to pray while He was on earth (Luke 5:16; Luke 22:32; John 17:9) , and even now He intercedes for us before the Father (Romans 8:34). Finally, perhaps the most profound example is love. God is love. He loved us all to the point of death, withholding nothing good from us. He calls us to follow His example and love others unconditionally.
I don’t know about you, but I find that can be incredibly difficult. People disappoint us. They hurt us. They behave in ways that feel impossible to love. Generosity can feel risky in a world that tells us to look out for ourselves. Forgiveness can feel unfair when there’s no apology, no change, and no guarantee it won’t happen again.
Sometimes, it’s tempting to give up and think, “This is too hard.” At times I’m painfully aware of how unlike Christ I can be. Then I remember that I am exactly like Christ:
Because as He is, so are we in this world. – 1 John 4:17
I remember God’s grace. Grace is God’s help. It is His power working in me, enabling me to do what I cannot do on my own. As Philippians 4:13 reminds us, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And when I fall short—and I do—grace meets me there too. Christ offers forgiveness, restoration, and another chance to begin again.
This is one of the things I love most about God’s character. He doesn’t simply give commands from a distance. He leads by example and walks with us every step of the way, offering strength, mercy, and guidance. He is righteous and perfect, yet gentle and compassionate. And He calls me to become more like Him. That thought fills me with the same sense of anticipation my old friend once carried. I’m not perfect yet. But days are coming.
Days when I will love more fully. Days when Christ’s character will shine more clearly in my life. Each day I grow to be more like Him. And one day, I will be completely transformed—perfect, radiant, and whole in His presence.
I work from home exclusively and have been doing so for some time. I absolutely love it. It has many advantages like flexibility and zero commuting, but it also has some challenges. One of the main issues I face is occasional technical difficulties. Last week, I found myself in a position where I could not get online using my main internet service provider (ISP) just before my work day started. To compound the issue, my backup option was also out of commission. It was stressful because I knew a number of people were waiting and relying on me to get my work done effectively and on time.
Fortunately, I managed to resolve the issue with my main ISP fairly quickly thanks to my support system (a big shoutout to you, you know who you are). However, I was not so fortunate with my backup. I was very uncomfortable with this scenario because I knew that if anything else happened, I’d have no redundancy to fall back on. “Pray about it,” said that still small voice in my head that I have become so familiar with over the years. Automatically, I started to pray then I paused. I couldn’t continue praying for some reason. I searched my heart and mind, then it came to me. I was struggling with trusting God. And so, I prayed about what I was thinking and feeling instead.
My prayer went something like this: Father God, I want to ask for Your help with my work day today. I am concerned about my internet connectivity and I really want my day to go well. I know that You always answer prayer and that You’re here for me. However, your version of what an answered prayer looks like and mine can sometimes be so different. And so, I am struggling to trust you with my need today because when you say it shall be well, for example, what you mean can be very different from what I am hoping for and expecting. I surrender what I am thinking and feeling to You and ask You to help me with my need as well as trusting You again.
It was a fairly simple but very honest prayer. I immediately felt God respond as I felt a sense of calm, peace and reassurance washed over me. I still wasn’t 100% sure my workday would go the way I hoped, but I was more than confident that God had heard me. He knew my heart and He knew just what I needed. What’s more, God is always good and kind. He considers me and acts out of regard for my well-being. I was reminded that I can always trust in that, in Him. He is dependable even when He doesn’t respond the way I want Him to. That’s not all though. When God requires me to trust me, He also gives me the ability and the strength to do so. When I struggle with my faith, I can ask for help and confidently expect that He won’t turn me away or find fault (James 1:5) Instead, He responds with grace and wisdom.
In case you’re wondering, my workday went very well that day. It ended with me feeling loved, feeling seen, feeling heard, feeling protected and feeling humbled. I have carried that incident with me all week. It has encouraged me and reminded me to trust God like a child trusts her Father who loves her and only wants good things for her. In Jeremiah 29:11, the EasyEnglish version, God says, “I, the Lord, tell you this: I have decided what I will do for you. I have plans to help you to do well. I do not want to hurt you. I want to give you hope for a good life in the future.” The NIV puts it this way:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
If this has encouraged you, don’t keep it to yourself. Please share it and help to encourage someone else today.
A small incident happened today, nothing of consequence but it served as a good lesson. I went to a meeting at church this evening. It was a great time of prayer and worship, just what I needed. I walked away knowing I had encountered the Lord and felt very encouraged.
As I left the meeting, it was getting a bit dark, and I didn’t particularly feel like walking to the lift I would need to take home. I was also hoping not to use the money I had on me so I prayed about it. I asked God for a nice lift home, one that I wouldn’t have to pay for. Immediately, the voice of doubt spoke up. “How would that work though?” it said. I pushed it aside and prayed again as I headed to the lifts, briefly perusing the cars outside for my mum’s car whom I had asked to join me at the prayer meeting. Nothing.
I shrugged it off and headed for my lift, determined to get home and have an early dinner. Unfortunately, it took me about 30 minutes to get a ride and make it home – much longer than I had anticipated. When I got home, my mum came to open the front door which surprised me. She doesn’t usually do that. “What happened?” she asked. Now I was confused until she explained. It turns out she intended to come and pick me up but she got home late from her own meeting and so asked my brother to pick me up.
It warmed my heart that she did that. She didn’t have to but that’s her, always looking out for those she loves. Sadly, my brother and I missed each other. He was still out looking for me. I was disappointed. God had answered my prayer but I had missed it! Perhaps that voice of doubt had stopped me from looking around more carefully for my mum’s car. Had God spoken and I had not heard it because I was so determined to get home using my own plan? I remember feeling prompted to look at my phone but I didn’t want to take it out as I walked in the street so I shrugged it off.
Well, lesson well (re)learnt. This was a great reminder for me that when you ask God for something, take the time to wait for His response. Watch, wait, listen and more importantly, be expectant. Don’t rush ahead and try to do it on your own, using your own wisdom. It would be like calling a friend, saying your piece then dropping the call before your friend has an opportunity to respond. Wouldn’t that be silly 😀
Also, it’s not my job to determine if and how God will accomplish something. My finite mind cannot wrap itself around the infinite possibilities the Lord’s mind can see and call into being. He is the God of the impossible. I am reminded of Abraham’s story (Genesis 12 – 18). God promised Him some extraordinary things that would seem impossible to the human mind. Yet Abraham believed those promises, and not only was it credited to him as righteousness, but it all came to pass! Therefore, all I need to do is believe and trust in God’s faithfulness, truthfulness and ability to do what He says.
iBloom for God 